The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
lately on social media I have been reading a lot of positive, encouraging devotional-type articles, dealing with kids, marriage and life in general. I have a couple that I follow, who do marriage workshops, and their posts are always very uplifting but I always say in my mind after I read them "but not if you are married to an alcoholic..." It struck me hard the other day. There is tons of good advice out there, but being married to/being the child of/being the parent of/being the friend of/being the partner of an alcoholic seems to defy normalcy. Thank goodness for Al Anon literature!
Love our literature and it's my go-to.....Next to that, if I need added readings for meditation, it's often Psalms or the 'easier to read/digest/understand' verses from the 'other big book - Bible'.
I typically avoid the type of literature you mention as it assumes 'normal' family, as defined by another. My normal is different than all others, so the premise of our program for me is the best - if I work on me and how I act/react, then my change permeates beyond me and improves all aspects of my life.
If I stumble up a good read, I remind myself to take what I like and leave the rest behind! Such a powerful phrase that helps me look for similarities vs. the differences. I also have accepted that if it weren't for the qualifiers in my life, I may not have landed in Al-Anon, which has brought me a whole new level of living and serenity.
(((Fairlee))) - you are so right - thank goodness for Al Anon literature!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great awareness and acceptance Fairlee.
That is the reason alanon (in it's wisdom) has developed our own "conference approved literature".
This literature understands the disease and our disease and offers constructive means to connect.
I love the C2C and ODAT
I know exactly where you are coming from, I have made the same observation. I have noticed now that I am more attuned to recovery sentiments being on social media. There is lots of it out there and is quite often posted in a subtle manner, people don't usually post "my husband is an alcoholic, here are some words that helped me", but if you are attuned to it, you start to see it. It has started to give me more hope and understanding that there are more people in recovery than I would have thought when I first started this journey.
After I notice that, I got to the point where I believe that a lot more people should be posting recovery notions than that good advice for "normal" people. I now believe that many "normal" people are just like us, but still in denial that there are any problems, and think that any problems can be fixed with just more sugarcoating.
So funny that you brought this subject up Fairlee, it has been on my mind for at least a week or so. Have been kinda agonizing over the fact that I find being on facebook, for lack of a better word, annoying. And I thought maybe I just don't get it, maybe it is because I can no longer interact with the individuals I have been conversing with for over 5 years now, what is wrong with me. Being in recovery seems to set me apart from the everyday posting, that I have no desire to be on facebook anymore.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
That's a great opportunity for a 12th step...giving your program away to others and all them the opportunity you have taken to find and get help or a better understanding of life around them. Give it a try. ((((Hugs))))
I despise Facebook......love looking at photos of kids and friends who've moved away but for all my local people who tell me where they are going, and what they are eating - it puts me over the edge....
I do belong to several private groups on Facebook though, so sign on when needed to give/get updates. It's a nice tool for that for sure! I think we've outgrown it Debb...or maybe it's a time-waster and I have program stuff to do that fills my time - dunno!
I don't tweet, poke, snap or chat or any of the other....FB is bad enough!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think the same thing Fairlee. All bets are off being married to an alcoholic. Some things just don't apply!
Debb I have outgrown FB too. I deleted my account over a year ago. Time waster, too much drama and I had a serious case of "Facebook envy" looking at everyone's perfect spouses, perfect children, perfect houses and perfect lives!
I take FB at face value, lol. But, yes, I've found that most marriage advice doesn't work when you're married to an alcoholic. It's also one of the reasons that marriage counseling doesn't work either. The addict/alcoholic needs to be in recovery for a long time before couples counseling can be effective. I try not to read those articles and I stick with CAL first and foremost, along with meetings and my program friends.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
