The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 23 speaks about perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes. Al-Anon gives us permission to make mistakes, explaining that we are human and that humans are imperfect.
The best way to handle mistakes is to honestly admit them, so that we can be open to growth. It goes on to explain that it is in Step 10 that we find we can take personal inventory each day, examine our motives and admit that we were wrong. It is a very liberating process because it challenges us each day to be honest.and then gives us a way to learn from the mistake and grow.
I love the quote from Mark Twain says, if you tell the truth-- We dont have to remember anything.
The reminder suggests that each day will probably make a mistake at some point in the day. If we view this as a personal failing or pretend there was no mistake. We make our lives unmanageable.
When we stop struggling to be perfect and admit Im wrong. We can let go of guilt and shame and that is a cause to rejoice.
The quote is from the Book of Common Prayer; help them to take failure, not as a measure of their worth but as a chance for a new start.
I do believe that prior to truly looking at myself as in the 10th Step and examining my motives, I used denial of reality and pretend to help me be perfect and not acknowledge my errors.
I always that I was RIGHT and everyone else wrong What a new world opened when I learned to Keep an open MIND and really LIsten to learn Meetings taught me that
Your C2C post speaks to me today Betty. Have been thinking about my mistakes and shortcomings over the past week and it does come down to the point that being RIGHT is not the issue, it is how I learn from my personal failure. I learned that for what I have have had issues with this week, I could have totally avoided, if "I Quit Taking It Personally." Going to move on and stop being ashamed and guilty. {{SMILES}} and {{HUGS}} Have a great Sunday Betty and thank you!
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 23rd of August 2015 08:49:08 AM
-- Edited by Debb on Sunday 23rd of August 2015 08:49:41 AM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Love today's reading and I am always amazed at how when I read these, it feels like it's different than one year ago when I read it.
What's different is me and where I am, and once I realize that, I get grateful...
I am so grateful for the question my sponsor used to ask me all the time - Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? I can honestly say the first few times she asked me, I thought it was a 'test' and did not answer, but internally suggested right.....that's how insane I was.
She doesn't ask it near as often as I've chosen human over perfect and happy over right. What a gift this program is. To be a member only, to be a human only, to no longer worry about being perfect, just being me. The best me I can be, but still, just human, little old me - happy as can be!
Thanks as always Betty for your ESH and the daily! I appreciate you and your service to this board more than words could possibly say....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of the most useful things I have learned in Al-Anon is that there is more than one way to be right. (Which indicates there is NO perfect way)
I find being right is a lot like being smart. If I am either, it benefits me little to attempt to prove it nor have another person acknowledge it. The facts will bear that out later. The smart person is a patient person and is satisfied to be progressing and realizes that perfection is an illusion.
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IF you can not be a good example; then you will just have to be a horrible warning
