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I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilemma. Can someone shed light for me what I mi by might do? It would be greatly appreciated.
That was experiment time for me finding out if my mom was really as bad as I felt she was or was she sick and working with sick choices. She was sick working with sick choices and if she knew better she would do better. I got the fear out of my relationship with her and replaced it with love and compassion...Hola!! guess what? she changed because I changed my attitudes about her and stopped acting and reacting out of fear. The program too gave my mom the son she always wanted I feel I also went from sick to doing better. Good luck with it Kath. (((hugs)))
My mother followed in my grand-father's shoes, and began alcoholic drinking after we left the nest. She's hid bottles, hid drinks, etc. but we all know. My father has resentment and anger but is old school so tolerates it. I am the only one who seemed to 'worry' in depth and I think that's because of my extensive research with this disease.
So, my mother was distant when I was a child and now she's more needy....and often under the influence when so. But, not here. In 27+ years, alcohol has only been consumed in my home one time, and it was a welcome back party for my nephew. Beyond that, nope, sorry, not happening.
It took tons of prayer and meditation combined with acceptance and total surrender to stop worrying about her and what she's doing and enjoy her to the best of my ability. She's 80 years old and I don't know how much longer she'll be around, but I don't want any resentments towards ANYONE! I pray for her every day and love her unconditionally.
So, when they come to visit 2 weeks twice a year (oh....LORDY), I take a ton of walks, and I keep it in the now. The moment. Not an hour from now. The now. It makes it easier to deal with.
(((Hugs))) to you - it will be OK and it will be over before you know it.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
