The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, and ACOA's. The one man spoke of his achievement of finally forgiving his parents, so he could have PEACE. Not for them, but for him. And the next day, I forgave my A. I'm not happy about my A's behavior, I'll never forget it, I lost my trust and some respect, but I forgive. Hallelujah!
Good for you lyne!
Forgiveness for me is a daily process and I'm still working on it. Something that did help me is to stop trying to rewrite the past with a different outcome. Obviously that created more frustration for me. No one has the power to change past events no matter how hard I try if God can't why do I think I'm so special? I can change my perception that scares me too as I don't want to minimize things that should not be minimized I don't need to dwell on them either. I need validation. I need to seek my own approval. I need to know my own truth. I still get defensive when I believe I'm being told I didn't experience what I lived through. So I'm really working on knowing my own truth doesn't make it everyone else's truth. Acceptance, maybe that's it? Accepting not everyone will see things the way I do? I have learned a lot about forgiveness over the last few weeks. I'm still trying to put it in to action on how it works in my life. Hugs thanks for sharing!
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Kudo's to you Lyne. Watch what happens now ... for you will greatly benefit from the lose of anger and anxiety and will be in a far better place to be able to detach with love and empathy. When we detach, with love and empathy, we are able to walk away from the chaos and not allow the 'A' to control us ever again. {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Congratulations Lyne - what a gift it is to be able to fully let go and forgive. Huge (((Hugs))) to you for your program efforts and results!!
Keep working it, it really looks good on you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
