The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I will never trust my XAH as long as he is active in his disease and behavior there is no rule that says I have to. When nothing change .. nothing changes .. just because I am married to or with someone else it doesn't make them automatically trustworthy.
The anger is mine to work through and usually I trace that back to fear and my own expectations of how I think he should be acting or doing and very honestly it's just not my monkey's not my circus. I am still working through things I have gone through with him since he refuses to finish the financials of the divorce. When all of that is done and behind me I will be able to let go easier.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I found great peace after about 2 years away from the AH. I couldn't find it even with program while living with him or even seeing him so I went through hell just to let go.
It's a long story I've told many times on here.
If your saying you want peace I strongly recommend in person meetings and online meetings here to build up your spiritual strength, you'll see change I promise, change in you to deal with all things troublesome. Peace in your heart.
I'm looking for this again now because I stepped away from program too much. It's not really "program" as much as the higher power we trust in alanon. Turning it over at first for me seems pretend... my mind trys to turn it over to a higher power but I feel I don't but I pretend and then my mind really does turn it over.. then later my heart follows .. then I start to grow...
I didn't get back "behind the eight ball" in one day and I may not find total peace again fast... but I know where to look.
Running this is a long journey to find
Peace and serenity especially with
children. I finally live apart from my
Xah and i am really beginning to heal.
No contact and new beginnings work
Wonders along with a loving God holding
Your hand.
I do not see him or need to deal with
Him at all. It has taken me a long time
and A lot of hard work to Get to this
point.
I use to trust my ah but not anymore
Those days are over. This man is not
The man i thought i married and said
My vows with.
I need to forget the good of old and face
The bad of today and move on. Its not
Easy or quick.
The thinking in alanon is to not make
Any major changes for 6 months to a
Year unless there is abuse then seek
Shelter. When i entered alanon i was
On rock bottom and there is one way
And that is up:)
