I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me.

At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine.  Is it sad that things couldn't workout . absolutely .. the relationship had to end based upon the simple fact of nothing changes when nothing changes and he still wants to do the same behavior.  I'm telling you I have changed so much I can't imagine allowing someone to speak to me the way that he's talking to the new wife .. and it's a situation of if I want to call the woman fat .. it's not nice .. however I can.  To do so in front of the kids and in public I was horrified when the kids replayed a situation with him yesterday.  I guess my daughter tried to address it with him and he ignored her and my son got into the mix and just flatly said .. Dad .. that's not how you talk to women.  Stop.  That did get his attention and he did not like it however he did classic X behavior and just ignored it .. I have a feeling it was something that was discussed later .. because new wife then got into the mix about it.  I thought oh honey .. you are falling into his trap and his diseased behavior is coming out in full force.  I'm very grateful she cares about the kids.  Unfortunately .. I see things not going well in that regard.  It is definitely going to be financial that ends the marriage .. she holds control over the purse strings and he doesn't like it.  I was sad for her because I thought to myself he is going to break you down and you don't even see it.  My daughter said her insecurity about her weight it really coming out never mind that my X looks like a bloated mess about to give birth to a 9 month baby he's been carrying around for 3 years. 

Anyway, .. I got a parting shot last night and started laughing to myself .. I just had to .. the kids were doing their kid thing and being slow .. not because of good byes .. however because of trying to get their loot from one place to the other .. I say .. ok kiddo's we have got to boogie .. I have a date and I am already going to be late.  We got in the car and my daughter started laughing .. looks at me and says .. well played mom .. you should have seen the look on Dad's face.  It was not totally a fib .. I happened to go out with a girlfriend of mine and a group of her friends we had the time of our lives .. her divorce was finalized and she wanted to celebrate.  I was totally late .. LOL!  We had a great time and I loved begin included in their group. 

These people are crazy .. I'm back to referring to my X and his NW.  I mean the thing that blows my mind is this .. last visitation I guess he spent the whole time on his phone again and that's so not a good sign with him so I wonder who he is trolling.  (this is none of my business however based upon comments the kids made it bothered them).  Putting down the new wife and other people had told me they didn't like how he spoke to me, .. I didn't pay attention and by the time I did trying to teach someone how to talk to me was sad.  He never got out to hug them, tell them have a good trip, nothing.  There was no real discussion about anything once I got there I asked about the insurance .. I gave him the opportunity to ask me about moving .. I'm totally not volunteering anything regarding information that's on him.  He was whiney with the kids about it and that made me laugh because living with me they have the same dry humor I do and it's not sarcasm it's something else .. lol .. they do point out the obvious. 

Something he was going on and on about was how he's calling them today and my daughter kept telling him ... we are busy today .. they have a party and people coming over .. lol. He ignores her and says well hand the phone to your bother then .. DAD .. CALL MONDAY .. WE ARE BUSY!!  By this point she has pointed this out multiple times.  Finally he says oh .. fine .. I guess I can call Monday. I guess she road him pretty hard about that since they had been gone for how long and he NEVER phoned them.  At first I had anxiety over it however I figure this will last a very short time.  I remind myself how messed up he really is and this is what sounds good.  He's trying to tell my son he's going to FaceTime with him and I laughed and E said mom .. I just thought whatever.  My son is more like UGH .. I really don't want to .. and honestly .. he doesn't have to.  This might go on for 3 weeks .. reality is we lived in the same town and he NEVER saw the kids .. so how in the world is he going to follow up on this??

Oh yes .. I'm moving to California (we are not .. this is the world according to the A).  A girlfriend of mine made me LOL .. she said S .. the next time he starts asking the kids what school they are going to .. just make something up .. please know my warped sense of humor we were on the floor laughing because the kids got into the mix and my daughter said .. how about Ben Dover High School .. we are screaming because use your imagination on the names .. my personal fav was Satanic Middle School where we train the next anti Christ.  Ben Dover High School turned into Ben Dover Magnet for the Double Jointed gifted child in your home.  It was wrong on so many levels however once we started it was hard to stop .. all of a sudden my daughter gets totally serious and says .. can we make up names?  I told her umm honestly I don't care because we aren't even moving to the state they think we are moving to .. and according to your dad I'm having you withhold information.  She started laughing again and says Mom .. he doesn't get that we don't know yet because we haven't moved yet.  That's his crazy stuff and I no longer have to dwell there thank you Lord!

Anyway, I have no idea if he wants to see the kids before they leave to actually say goodbye .. he has not reached out to me to say Hey S .. could we have the kids over for dinner since it's their last week?  I mean I would be ok with that .. however I'm not offering and he has to come through me and we all know that is so not happening. 

It is what it is and things are not rosy in the least .. so it is what it is and I'm so grateful I don't have to deal with it on an every other week basis. 

Hugs S :)