The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was stepping out of line, I'd re-live past battles in my head to keep my chops up. And when I'd won all those battles a thousand times, I'd imagine new ones. I'd take an experience where someone could have stepped out of line but didn't and I'd imagine that they had. Then they'd really get it. Man I was good.
I've been under more that the usual amount of stress lately, and so I found myself entering one of those arenas today. My opponent was ramping up with whatever I required to make it perfectly justifiable to unleash a truck load of whoop-ass on him and do polite society a favor when things took a turn. Instead of delivering my usual perfectly-worded, craftily-intonated, searing diatribe that would expose both my prowess and his utter failure and weakness, I found myself staring quietly at him. Relaxed. Calm. And all I did was say "Man, I used to be just like you. When you've had enough, there's a better way."
Good work" almost there " Love the title of your share. I can so identify as I too would entertain myself by rehearsing battles, real and imagined over and over in my mind so as to and hone my skills of sarcasm anddebate.
It is amazing what program will do. I am so glad that you responded to the situation with your alanon principles above personalities. Serenity is a much nicer place to live.
I was professional at that also only I don't have any trophies to prove it. I use to use violence and forgot how to do that also. Thank you God, Al-Anon, AA and MIP. (((((hugs)))))
God you make me laugh A.T.
I too was the national champion of giving fantasy beat-downs to fantasy versions of people for fantasy transgressions.
We're all mad here I'm learning
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
