The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok. Preparing for first Al-Anon meeting tonight. All I can say is I'm looking forward to it. I feel so impotent at the moment so I'm relieved I'm facing up to some pretty unpleasant feelings. I'm glad I found this board and over the last few days they have provided me with some small comfort. It's still so painful knowing she is out there doing I know not what. I keep thinking what divine words or tools I could pluck from heaven to make this better. In truth and Im loathed to admit or accept it, the only thing I can do is look after myself. Which, to the best of my ability I'm doing........
Kudos to you for finding the strength and courage to go! And yes, letting go of that which we want different and letting God or HP is hard but so very helpful.
Looking after ourselves and working on our own things makes us better friends, partners, etc. and better prepared to face that which comes our way.
You can do this and you got this - be gentle with you today and take some time to just enjoy where you are. While this is causing you pain, there are many things to be grateful for - see if you can focus on what is good vs. what is not so good....that's a tool I use often - finding the sliver lining as I believe all things happen for a reason.
(((Hugs))) to you today as you go through your day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Paul You will find that you are not alone. Each one of us had to "Surrender" to our powerlessness in order to recover.
It is not easy, but is the only sure way to find some sense of sanity.
Once surrender takes place we find that being powerless does not mean we are helpless--- That by taking care of ourselves we are able to see "reality" and respond to life in a truly effective manner.
Good luck.
Cheers guys
Just gonna be a chilled day catching up on some reading until the meeting tonight.
Like so many of the messages the one sent her yesterday has gone unread. Of course I think of all the worse case scenarios - where is she, what is she doing, who is she with, is she dead? What can I do? Not a great deal. Hope she's ok and hope she reads it. I'll endeavour to chill out, pick up a good book, put the kettle on. Roll on tonight.......
Paul I found that the most effective way I could care for someone is to"Pray for them. When I start to manufature "reality", I am in trouble.HP is in control and what you need to know you will know in time.
Let us know how the meeting goes.
Thank you HotRod
Yes, that's what I do now. I've never been keen in prayer but it offers some solace. Of course I could react - start making phone calls etc but even if they are answered it offers only a temporary relief and it's often about making myself feel better. It's addictive and damaging. Hence the restraint. So yes, I'll pray, let down on my knees if I need to....
