The material presented
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So many new things are coming into my life just lately. I blame al-anon!
I'm excited today. Daughter was sick and stayed home from school. (That wasn't the exciting bit, don't worry). I couldn't concentrate on my work with her chatter and the TV playing all day so instead I had one of those days where you make a list of all of the "too hard" things in your life and then work through them one by one. That mostly involved making annoying phone calls that involve waiting on hold for very long stretches of time. I don't do waiting well so I tend to let these sort of calls pile up.
In the process of making these calls I discovered that a) I'm owed some money that I will be receiving presently, yay! and b) whilst my degree is still about 1.5 years from completion I am only a handful of units away from qualifying for the advanced diploma in the same degree. So I still have a lot of study ahead but if I do the right subjects for the rest of the year I'll have an ACTUAL qualification. Not the one I want yet, I'll have to keep going for another 12 months after that but still, it'll qualify me to get some proper work in the very near future. I had NO IDEA I was even close to any kind of qualification. Yahoo!!! Light at the end of the tunnel!
Anyway as I worked my way through the list one issue that kept cropping up is my unwillingness to commit to anything that involves me driving. It's a real handicap still. Yes, I did finally get my license and yes I have a nice little car now but I never drive anywhere because, I'm just too anxious. I drive to the supermarket at night when it's quiet and that's about it for my driving adventures. Or to the train station which is in the same block as my house...
I WANT to go further but I am still kinda paralyzed by fear and end up making excuses to catch the bus or I just don't go.
So while I was kicking myself over my driving issues and also contemplating how to wisely use my extra cash I had a lightbulb moment and....wait for it..started making enquiries about advanced driving courses! The first guy I called told me he doesn't think I should start with defensive driving. He said he does those but that he thought initially throwing myself into intense high risk driving would just freak me out even more. But fear not, he said, because he also does "safe driving" classes for fleets and that he also has a tonne of female clients in my age group and situation. He also said that I'd be amazed if I knew how many women learn to drive as adults and then feel too anxious to drive in traffic. Then he listed all of the driving scenarios that scare me and said he has a system for all of them that will leave me feeling confident that I can handle any situation that comes up. I felt really positive after talking to him and I also thought it was a good sign that he urged me to only book and pay for a single lesson before committing to a series so I can make sure I am comfortable with him.
So I'm excited about this. It feels like a really positive thing to do! I spoke to a friend about it afterwards and she was familiar with the training and told me I will "learn more in a few lessons than most people learn in 10 years of driving". Cool
After that I booked and paid for daughter and my flights for our Nerd Convention trip in November, and then my mother called to give me the dates for the trip she has planned for us next year! A month ago I was complaining that I haven't had a holiday for 14 years... now I have 2 booked in the next 12 months and when I have my driving under control I'm going to put daughter and my car on the boat and do a driving tour of Tasmania which will be a-ma-zing.
Anyway I couldn't help thinking that it's all al-anon really. 2 years ago i was depressed, obsessed with Abf and his shennanigans and half the time I was too miserable to even get out of bed. Now I make decisions with confidence and without guilt or doubt and it really does seem as though the universe comes to the party for me when i stay true to my program. Amazing
As an aside, why does daughter get sick every time I am due to start a new class away from the house? It's a repeat occurance and stops me from attending the first day or 2 every single time! I wonder what it is? She's not faking, you can't fake a bad cough and a fever. But the timing is uncanny I could almost set a clock by it.
Anyway not to worry, onwards and upwards!!!
(((everyone)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
LOL .. oh Miss M .. when I started working my kids all of a sudden had every ache known to man I must have gotten 50 calls at work from the school about this that and the other at one point I broke down into tears because I was at the atty's office trying to meet with the atty of the moment and had the school calling me. I told the nurse i'm not paying 250 an hour to have the kids call me when they can wait. No one was dying no broken bones .. LOL. Oi .. there is something that kids get about feeling change in the air. It of course is scary and they are unsure if it will take their place .. I had to sit my two down and say I don't have an issue with you going to the nurses office however know I can't come get you at the drop of the hat you will have to wait for me to be done with work. My job was such I couldn't leave just because .. so it was hard.
Anyway, it's wonderful all of these new changes .. I do look at my ability to change based upon I get there when I need to get there .. I just make sure I am able to get there .. kwim??
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks for sharing! I am so glad to hear that things are going we well!
(((hugs)))
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks guys. I guess she must be nervous about me going out of the house when she's so used to me ALWAYS being here; about the only time I leave the house for the last couple of months is when I come and meet her in the city when she finishes school! It's obvious something is up because the last few nights she's asked to sleep in my bed and tonight I'm up late so she's decided to sleep on the couch a few feet away from me...hmm.
Adjustment time!
It's a bit frustrating as I was itching to get started and enjoy my first day of the new class but it isn't to be...it's a practical skills class too, clinical techniques (pulse taking, BP, palpation, handy stethoscope tricks and the like) so I told her she'll have to agree to let me practice on her to catch up lol.
Also, it amused me that this morning, she was umming and ahhing over whether or not she could go to school and she was a bit disheartened when she decided that no, she really wasn't feeling good and it wouldn't be fair to go and cough and sweat all over her friends.
So do you know what she spent her afternoon doing? Looking up recipes and MAKING LEMONADE lol!!!! She's my kid and no mistake
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks so much for your share! How grand are the gifts you have received which you attribute to your hard work with the program? Super, super cool and kudos for you!!
(((Hugs))) to you and your daughter - I hope she feels better now and that whatever is causing her concern bubbles to the surface and you two can deal.
Keep working it - it looks great on you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
It sounds like after that driving course you'll be a better driver than 95% of the population! Good for you. I'm glad to hear about your progress...keep coming back!
I am so happy that you uncovered such wonderful information and in the process faced a stumbling block that is holding you back Great work MsM. That is s how to "work It".
I haven't been on for a few months and I was so happy to read your post Melly. So glad things are going well for you. Look how far you have come in the past year!!!! Kudos to you and your hard work!!
I could almost set a clock by it.