The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon asks us to consider our interactions with Newcomers to the Program. The text reminds us of what it can feel like when we first come to the program: like we are on the verge of drowning.
It does not take long to benefit from the AlAnon wisdom of focusing on healing ourselves rather than the alcoholic, and utilize some of the many valuable tools that can guide us back towards serenity. We naturally want to help others who are experiencing pain that we are all too familiar with. The reading, however, reminds us that our eagerness to help may lead to dumping more "assistance" on them than they can handle.
For someone who is struggling just to stay above water, too much information or advice, even when well intended, can seem overwhelming. ODAT reminds us that our loving welcome, appreciation for their effort to reach out, and assurance that we understand their feelings of isolation, fear and helplessness are often what the newcomer needs, and likely, all they can process at that time. When they are ready to reach out and discover more of what the program has to offer, they will find that it is available.
Today's Reminder: We should give consideration to the blessing that newcomers bring to the fellowship, as well as to themselves. Listening to their experience can remind us of how we felt before we came to AlAnon and how thankful we are that we did. Sharing our Experience, Strength and Hope with others can be mutually beneficial when it is time appropriate and reinforces the tools and benefits of a healthy, Program based recovery.
Quote: "...Let me be selective in my sharing of experience, strength and hope, to make sure his or her needs are met."
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I came to AlAnon exhausted from my efforts to "help" my qualifier to find sobriety: look up meeting places/times, reseach rehab opportunities, debrief after her AA meetings and therapy sessions, give my opinion on how to "best" approach any upcoming challenge, etc. AlAnon helped me see why that didn't help my qualifier, and certainly did not help me.
Now that I have seen the wisdom of the Program, however, I occasionally find my mind slipping into thinking that now I really know what will help others, and feel the urge to fast track their recovery. Pages like this remind me of the importance of recalling Step One and my powerlessness over all others. I must respect their dignity and the path that they are making for themselves. Recovery is healthy when we forge it ourselves with the Higher Power of our own understanding.
We read that there are no "musts" in AlAnon, and for that I am so grateful. We each are encouraged to explore and grow, make the program our own. I received the time and freedom to grow in the Program as I chose, and am reminded here to show the same courtesy to others. Thank you AlAnon...
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I remember vividly my first meeting and how helpful folks were without words. I got nods, smiles, and hugs and the basics - one day at a time, keep coming back and you are not alone.
It kept me from being over-whelmed, and by the Grace of God more was and has been shared as I've been able to 'hear' it and receive it.
I try to hold onto that vivid memory any time there is a new member. I've seen the terror in the eyes of the overloaded newcomer and it's frightening!
What a great reminder of how this program works for us and with us as we are ready and able. I review Step 1-3 each morning during my prayer/meditation as those keep me grounded in 24 hours only. For me, it's when I look backwards and forward that I step off the course my HP wants and these readings help me right-size myself and be a member among members.
Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for sharing this reading from the ODAT. i agree it is very important to remember that we cannot push new comers into wroking the program until they are ready. The best we can do is present the ideas and let them pick up the tools-- After all it is HP who is doing yhe work
Thanks for your service Paul .
