The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I couldn't hear anymore about him, I just couldn't. I know I wanted to wait till Bulls got paid but I just couldn't. I just got mad when he was talking the usual manipulation games and told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I actually told him to take his stuff and his money and go on a post it note! Yes folks I told him my daughter and I were going to the pool and that I wanted him out by the time we got back at 8. He's gone!!! Omg I did it and I am scared, happy, scared but I'm ok. little anxiety.. But not bad.I will calm down and go to bed and just think about nothing for awhile.
Help angel: sounds like you are doing the best thing for you & your daughter. It is OK to be scared. It is tough to make that kind of decision. When I packed my ex's stuff & put them outside; I thought about how I was not going to survive & wanted him back. He was fine w it. Go figure. Today I probably would think more before I did it again. That was 23 years ago & it turned out OK.
Kathleen
When I talked to him on the phone I told him every time he slipped it felt like he cheated on me with another women. I told him I was just so mad and broken hearted that I just couldn't do it anymore. I had given him 4 years and I just couldn't not do anymore, yes some part of me wanted to but something inside of me just blew up and said no more. I will sell my house if I have too and sell every piece of furniture if I have too but dang it I couldn't take it anymore. He said he shouldn't have said anything this last time and blamed it on this book that he read that he said he understood where I was coming from and that he should have never said it. I told him that it had nothing to do with his new found awareness of what he has done but the fact that he did it, would keep doing it and that was the part I couldn't forgive anymore. He said he was sorry and actually had this confident tone in his voice like since he said it I should just forgive him and how dare I not. I swear that I was dumb founded by what he really believes and what is real. He cut me off and told me I gave him no warning and now he is homeless (actually in hotel) and how he feels and blah blah... No real sympathy, no real remorse, it is and has always been about what he wanted. I broke away and darn it I am staying away this time! The blinds are down folks and the sun is shining. :) it is going to be a sun shining day!
I hope you have a great day! This would be a great time to work your program and use your tools.
(((Hugs))) to you and being scared is a natural reaction to change - any change!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
