The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I worked up the nerve to text my ex, "I am not comfortable with you being in my house and I don't want it to happen again"
The reply I got back was "I needed to be sure our daughter isn't living in a scene from trainspotting"
Trainspotting is a 90's cult movie about heroin addicts. Odd, but ok.
I pushed it further and said "glad to know what you expected. When you divorced me you made a commitment to leave me alone. I expect you to honor that (insert ex husbands name here).
I got some 7 texts back about how I am playing "little games". It doesn't matter much, I am glad I said what I said. My phone keeps buzzing and to be honest I don't feel good about it. Here in Australia it's early in the day and if her's texting this much I think he might still be drunk from the night before. He sent 5 long texts and then "dont text me again". Then a couple more. I honestly don't want to hurt him or argue with him. I just want to lay down the boundary and be done with it. I'm surprised to find I still feel a bit sorry for him. Is he still functioning with 2 small children, the same job he has had for the last 10 years and all of it. Does he still spend the morning sobering up and then get stoned at lunch time?? Is that his life? Yeah, I care. I shouldn't. His kids are SO CUTE. Honest, they are freaking adorable.
Anyway I said it. It's a thing now. I'm not happy for him to enter my house. We've agreed upon it. It is written.
So that's good, right.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I'm glad you did this .. Dealing with active addiction I constantly have to reinforce the boundaries I have to keep me sane. For me even though it's expensive I send everything through my atty. Because I still have court it just shows a consistent pattern of his non compliance to very basic rules. Hang tough. Keep taking care of you.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
He's alcoholic and a user? Mel?...save the texts and any other communications you have had with him just before the incident and during the process. You will need to let others in authority see what's been going on and how. Proof. Stay safe...good work. (((((hugs)))))
That's awesome. Don't forget to eat? Harder to be anxious on a full tummy. And remember, what he thinks is gleefully and liberatingly none of your business. Hurt people (try to) hurt people. Trainspotting is designed to do just that, don't let it. You have created a home. Not just a house with stuff in it, but an actual home. You have a right to feel and be safe in it, and you have acted on that right. Good work ()
I've never in my life injected a drug, or regularly used anything other than occasional marijuana and alcohol just to be clear. I am in no way a junkie. I probably didn't need to say that but, just so u guys know, it's absurd and has no basis in reality.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
And A41 I am gleefully and liberatingly using what's left of his last child support payment to order pizzas for dinner. HA.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Ironic is right. Sigh. Good for you for setting this boundary!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
So proud of you for stating your truth and then letting it go.......keep true to you, your daughter and your program and all will be well. (((Hugs))) to you - and the pizza sound heavenly!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
