The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The Cycle of Sickness is So Deep in My Family... And I have Slowly Learned the "Carrot & the Stick" Manipulations they have always Strived on.... BUT... I Didn't Bite :D
I had Engaged in Conversation with my Older Sis (Currently Dry Drunk) and tho she does not have a Program, I do try to Share bits and pieces of mine, and there is times I will "Think" maybe she Heard what I was Saying about things... As I've spoken before in our AFamily everyone is in Everyone's Business regardless of who you are... if your Family then its their Business to know your Business... Or so it has been for Decades... :/ Mind you 99% effected by this disease....
Well I Haven't spoke to her in awhile and she goes on to tell me about My Little Abrother and the Issues he is having with his Teenage kids, (2 his, 1 His AGF) and I'm Listening the best I Can, I Tend to Fade Out sometimes because it is usually the Same old Drama, 'They are teenagers... The May Never Get along!'
Well she goes on to tell me how "WE" Need an Intervention for our lt. bro because he Allows Hippy Chic AGF to Run the Show, and His Kids get treated worse then Her's and so on and so forth...
NOW... Let me add, My View... Do I Agree with ALL Her Parenting... NO... Are the Kids abused? NO... Do I think she takes things Overboard? YES... Is it any of my Business if the Kids are not being harmed? NO...
So I Spoke with her on Friday, and we were having a BDay party for Said Lt. Bro's Daughter the Next day, and ASis went on to say how she was going to TELL Lt. Bro "WE" Needed a Meeting, of Just Us THREE... Not AGF... and She was Gonna say this to prevent that, and It was So Ridiculous that I "Again" Just Zoned out the Listening, and went to my Usual PLAN B where all is say is Auh, Yea, Oh... LOL (I'm Terrible I know, but I Just Can't!)
Well after hanging up, things that she actually said was Coming back...lol and it dawned on me that she was Throwing ME In on the WE... OH NO... So Instead of Putting myself thru Hearing it ALL AGAIN... I Sent her a Nice little Email that stated...
Dear SIS, I Just wanted to let you know that I have No Problem with You speaking to our Lt. Bro about what you think he needs to change in his life, HOWEVER, I Can Not & Will Not be apart of the "WE" ... How he runs his House is his Own Business and Not for Me to Worry with, if the Kids where being abused this would change, however currently they are just being Teenagers, and not getting along with Each other...Too Me this is All Normal behavior... So I Wish you well on your Plans, just please to not add me to the "Intervention" for it is None of My Business.... Thanks Love Ya
So Next Day Party plans go on, and I watch her Drag lt. bro to the basement away from AGF and My HP was Sitting right there, Like... "Well Are You Not Glad You don't have to be apart of that!" :D
If it had not been for Al-Anon, I Would have been Right up in their Business like I always Had been, So Very Grateful I Can now Own what is Mine, and Allow HP to Sort out the Rest... My ASis didn't bring the stuff up to me at all at the party but she did try to Include me in her Demented thinking of her thoughts on everyone that walked by, and With a Smile All I Had to say was: "Yea, that really none of my business, or That's not for me to Judge, or I Feel for them!" and slowly but surely she stopped talking Negative to me, and my Day didn't have to be ruined with her Drama... :)
Sorry I Just had to share how Happy I Am that when I Work it... IT WORKS... No Lie :)
Happy Monday Peeps... Hoping you all find yourself right up in Your Own Business Making Life Everything you Dream it can be ;)
Today's recovery lesson demonstrated and explained. Soooo that's how its done and when I work it...like you...it works. Gonna continue to keep it simple.
Hi Josie, thanks for sharing your success and your process. I can so identify with the family interactions, the no boundaries and the 'we" have to do something concept. So glad your program tools kicked in and you validated yourself and did not become part of the "we". Love how you did not attack her or invalidate her, but merely shared your opinion and your boundary that's great recovery, thanks for sharing and growing. It is always a pleasure to hear from you,
I too thank you.....and WOW - sounds like my family and your ESH is invaluable to me!!! I love the saying, "Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys"!!! It pops as a HP thought whenever folks in my family are talking drama/crisis. Lovely, lovely demonstration of the Miracles in Progress!!
(((Hugs))) - Keep working it....looks so good on you!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This really gives me hope, coming from a very enmeshed foo and having married into it. It is wonderful to hear of someone having a compassionate, drama free response to familial manipulations. Stay serene, and way to go!
