Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

mjferg · Senior Member

money woes!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Mary, I have been in that situation often. In fact, for many years, I was pleased at the end of the month that I could pay all my bills with my paycheck. I did find that there are many inexpensive or free ways that I could use to entertain myself and to reduce stress.

Walking in the public parks , by the River's , having picnics , visiting museums, free lectures, classes, all kept me entertained as well as Al-Anon meetings that kept me spiritually fit .

Remember one day at a time, that there are lessons to be learned in each phase of life and once the lesson is learned we move on.

Keep coming back and trusting HP

mjferg · Senior Member

Thanks so much, and yes,I am wondering what the lesson is,it is something that keeps coming up with me.I am thinking about some of the decisions I made about my car and I put some things off that I should have taken care of first.I am thinking more about money management and decisions lately.

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Big hugs MJ.
I can sure relate. One day we will finish this schooling and there will be so many rewards, financial not the least of them!
Hang in there. I find that somehow I always have enough even when it seems impossible. I'm sure the less I worry about it the better it seems to work out.
Personally I'd probably take the trip; I'm much more productive whern i'm happy and have something enjoyable to look forward to. But that's just me

mjferg · Senior Member

I think a lot of it is stress,I have certainly had my share lately.I had a spring break and a summer break and I didn't get to rest and enjoy either one,and I have been struggling with my work this semester because I am so tired.It is a short drive and really won't cost much if we split the gas,I really think I will go.

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

The only time I really notice my lack of money is when I'm around those who have it and flaunt it - spent the weekend with family and one faction has it because of people who've died and left it for them, they barely work, live well, have lots of stuff and go lots of places - listening to a conversation about eating fresh seafood and how great it all was leaves me feeling less than gracious towards them. Turning my perception towards those who have less than I do helps me see how much I have, not what I have not.

Jozie · ~*Service Worker*~

(((MARY))) I too Use to Struggle all the time with Money... I Watched My Mom care for 3 kids work 3 jobs, live Miserable but we had what we needed, and she was Always Strung out and Stressed and Never had an Extra Penny to enjoy for herself... What that taught me Was... How can I do better then that with Less Stress... and tho I Too live in an Area of Low Income, and Low Everything, I have Found Ways to at least Give me a Cushion when I Can be Comfortable and know I'll be Ok...

Some of things I have Tried that Worked for Me:

1)Started Saving Change... I Know its Change, However Currently I have Over $1500 in Change in the Last 8yrs... WOW Auh?

2) Every week when I got Paid I would put $5 in a Saving account (Without Fail) So when I Needed a Little Break, and got it built up, I wouldn't feel Guilty spending the Money because I Put that Back as my "Serenity Savings Account!"

3) I Seen this thing on the Net a couple Years ago about how to Save Money... and I Tried it ;) I Took my Mom on her First Family Vacation but doing this one last year ;)
Here's how it works:
There are 52 wks in a Year. So Week One... Put $1 Back, Week Two... $2 and all the way till Week 52 which you would be $52 dollars in Savings at the End of the Year you have $1,378.00 (Now let me add that because Christmas is such an Expense, I Worked this Backwards the First time) the 2nd Time, I Made up a Graph for 52 wks and What ever was Extra in my Wallet at Payday I would Add to the Week that matched that Amount... Wasn't always Easy but I'm planning my Next trip in Jan :)

4) Something my Husband does is he Saves "$1"s at the end of the day he would put what ever $1 he has into his safe, and now after a Year and half he has well over $1000. for his next fishing Trip... ;)

Now These are Just things that I have tried and Worked for me, I am Always Pinching Pennies somewhere, and even when I Do this I have to set Boundaries or Ear mark them so I Don't put my Hand in the Cookie Jar and take out for "Other" reasons that don't make Me Happy...lol

So I Hope some of these Idea's will help you as they have me, and if they don't work for you well Please Take what you Like and Leave the Rest ;) GOOD LUCK :)

Friends In Recovery

Jozie

Yankeerose · Senior Member

Jozie those are some really great ideas for saving! I especially like #3.

Mary I can so relate to the money woes and never being able to catch up. We live pay check to pay check and have racked up some serious credit card debt to the point where we have to sell our house. We basically were living off the credit cards--charging groceries, clothing and gas. It didn't take long for me to see we were in deep trouble. We are closing on our home sale next month and I am looking forward to a fresh start. With the little profit we make on the sale i am putting that toward paying off a couple cards. We are moving in with my parents so I will have a very small rent payment-- Nothing compared to my mortgage. It won't be easy as I haven't lived home in almost 25 years but at least we aren't homeless. I did the two job thing for 5 years. I refuse to do it again as my health suffered. One full time job is enough. If there are any "luxuries" you can do without I suggest giving those up first. I got rid of the gym membership and started working out at home, I did my own nails, I took the cable TV down to bare bones, called the cell phone provider and got them to lower my bill, called the utility company and went on a budget plan, sold some things through online yard sales and Craigslist, only bought groceries on sale and with coupons, I also called the credit companions and got my interest rate lowered. Good luck to you. Go on the trip if you think it will save your sanity! You can worry about saving some cash after that.

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Hugs))) to you Mary! I've been there too and it's just not fun and adds to the stress of life/living. I am a huge DIY gal and I am also a big repurpose person. So, I tend to sell things on Craigslist that we no longer need/want - every $1-$5 certainly helps. There are DIY recipes for everything from toothpaste to laundry soap. I DIY all my skin care as well. It's a great hobby and if/when you find a mix you like, you really feel good about the savings.

One Man's Trash is another Man's Treasurer is one of my mantras and it's often true! I also love Jozie's suggestions and I am a change saver too. I have a little bank that adds coins up and it hold more than $75 dollars depending upon the mix.

Remember in the spirit of the program, this too shall pass! Hang in there!

YARNCRAZY · Senior Member

there are some ways to make money especially if u have a car. doing errands for old people, carpooling, uber lol. This is the situation, i was afraid of in considering leaving ah. i have no car, dont drive, no kids. still in house with ah and broke...sorry, dont have anything but a kudos for u doing the best u can

catlover26 · Veteran Member

I sure can understand exactly what you are going through. I got a divorce 1 1/2 years ago and had to start working after staying home with my kids for 30 yrs. I can only work part time because of health problems. I do receive alimony but still I am just now able to get my bills paid and after 2 years on my own just very happy to do that.

I have been keeping change for months in a jar to save up to get my hair cut. I kept having to get a little bit of the money for something and I said 'Forget it'. I am looking on Youtube and try cutting it myself. I just have a pretty basic long cut. It really wasn't that hard if you cut a little at a time and have good scissors. I was happy to save that $30 or so.

I have to do some pretty drastic things. To save on gas I don't use my air conditioner all the time because I work 2 days a week about 30 miles from here and I spend too much on gas. And it gets very hot here. But it is all in your attitude and how determined you are in doing something.

If you have any clothes that are in good shape you can sell them at a Consignment shop. Or I have been desperate and sold a few things at a pawn shop and got pretty good prices for them.

I really don't have anything saved in case of an emergency. I am finally more financially stable now to try to start but it takes just putting aside a little money at a time. Not to stress over it? Well its tough but I just have to think about today and make it through today. I started Al-Anon a few months ago so that will help with trying not to have anxiety over so many things we can't control

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene