The material presented
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Well it's been a week and rather bore you all with the details of what is and isn't happening in my life .. let's just say .. the kids and I are moving to AZ .. no plan .. yes I'm a little wild that way and yes hoping and praying for the best. This feels so right. I knew when I married my X it was a mistake .. having my kids was never a mistake I would have been very happy just having a baby daddy and leaving it at that. Moving to a little town in the boonies .. big mistake and I knew it as well. Moving to AZ .. an experience of a lifetime and NO I have no idea what I"m doing .. lol.
My kids have been with my mom and I do view that as a mistake and a blessing at the same time .. hoping I do not have to pay for to much therapy going forward .. oi .. nothing like getting a call from SeaWorld .. mom I think we are ready to come home .. so I have put off having that conversation until tomorrow .. I have neither the emotional strength or energy to engage with my mom about changing tickets.
Work has been brutal ... some situations have not been handled and I can say my attitude has not been nice .. LOL .. I had to make an amends and try and move forward in a positive direction .. after all I know something they do not .. I'm leaving .. lol .. so that's on them and they will be fine with or without me. I'm ready to let go of that situation .. there are people I will miss a great deal.
This just feels so right .. not saying it's going to be easy .. I just really feel good about this move for whatever reason it's the right thing to do.
Still more court to finish everything and I've got my concerns .. XAH is thinking like a drunk .. which is fine because it's on him .. it's just unnerving because I see some nasty handwriting on the wall and just want the kids and I out of the picture when it goes down. My atty said to me the other day you say that and it used to be I pat you on the head and said sure sure sure .. now it's umm .. ugh .. don't say that because it's never good for him when you do. I shook my head and said I'm so sorry .. I see what I see and I feel what I feel when it comes to him it's just very transparent. Which is another reason for me to leave the area .. we are still enmeshed in a energy way if that makes sense. I just know when things are not good and I have that bad feeling so to speak .. it's like a storm alarm. Nice to have as a forewarning however I'm ok now if it's out of sight out of mind I know I will know when I need to know.
It will be finished officially on 8/17. That is a good thing. His atty is totally done with him thank you Lord.
Anyway, that's the down and dirty. I feel ok .. I still am struggling with a few things that will come back and bite me however .. it is what it is and I will make sure that things are good before leaving state .. I am excited and scared at the same time I feel like a kid again. That's a good thing.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Coming to AZ officially? Wow! So excited for you. Please remember to text me or FB message me about where to live, job search stuff, etc. I'd be happy to help you guys out when you get here. Lots of great recovery here in town too! Just remember that it's freaking hot here and it will wear on you in the summer time and that people get crabby right about now, haha. Hang in there because it sounds like you are in for quite a ride. Hugs and lots of support to you tonight, girlfriend.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Congrats. on the planning and plans! I've got relatives in AZ and it does get hot but it's different than other 'heat' - less humidity!
I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward. As we've all heard....when one door closes, another one opens - I love hearing the excitement in your post.
Keep moving forward and working your program - it looks great on you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
