The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After several years of living with an alcoholic, the decision for inpatient treatment was finally realized. Now that my "qualifier" has been in treatment for several weeks, I am beginning to wonder if it will work. The anger continues and even seems to increase. The blame is non stop. I have been attending al-anon meetings, but I don't really get them yet. The meetings I have been too seem to be nothing but people bitching and whining about family members who use/drink. I am not sure of the benefit.
Welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad you are here.
If possible, I would try another meeting/group before making a decision about the value of the Al-Anon program. This program, the steps, the fellowship and a great sponsor have brought me peace of mind that I did not think was possible.
Alcoholism is a progressive and powerful disease. It affects the entire family and recovery is possible whether your A recovers or not.
There are meetings here too twice daily - the schedule is up at the top left. Stop by and try one of those to see if they might help as well.
So glad you are here and posted. Know that you aren't alone and we're just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome to MIP KWAS, an alcoholic, in inpatient rehab may exhibit many disturbing and unsettling characteristics because they are being subjected to new ideas and change. That is why Al-Anon is recommended so that we learn to keep the focus on ourselves and not have unrealistic expectations.
As far as Al-Anon goes, it is recommended that we try six different Al-Anon meetings before deciding if Al-Anon is for us. Each meeting is different however all follow Al-Anon principles.
Many beginners meetings focus on beginner topics and beginner tools, the step and slogan meetings, work on those important Al-Anon tools and discussion meetings, usually have a speaker whose shares their experience strength and hope and then the floors opened to members shares. Trying some of these different meetings might be helpful.
Al-Anon is much more than just getting together and complaining. In fact, complaining is not at all encouraged nor is it one of the tools of the program. We are encouraged to focus on ourselves , develop positive tools to live by, and to live one day at a time trusting in a God of our understanding. It is a spiritual program and not a religious one, and so we encourage meditation and prayer as a solution to regain your serenity and peace of mind.
I have been restored to sanity filled with serenity and peace of mind. I could never have achieved this without this program. I urge you to keep coming back
Different groups function in different ways. I've found some are somber affairs, while others seem to be a gathering of friends that enjoy each other's company. I think the biggest immediate benefit is knowing I am not alone. The overall benefit of participating actively in the program in some form (f2f, online, literature, etc.) is that it keeps the awareness that there is a better way to treat myself in the forefront of my mind.
It's so easy for me to forget all I've learned at any moment and revert to old self-destructive ways. I have to keep it going. I have to develop new habits for myself. I have learned how to manage the anger and resentment so that I don't destroy myself from the inside out 24 hours a day anymore, but I can just as easily find myself re-living an anger experience (your body reacts to that as if it were actually happening again you know) or fighting a long-ago battle in my head. That's when I need some form of program thought close at hand, and the only way I can have it there is to participate. My favorite is this board. There is always someone who knows what I'm going through, and there are always perspectives that I have not considered.
Keep experimenting to find something that works for you. There's not only one way to learn how to help yourself. Put yourself first. It's your program. Glad you are here!
