The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was going through some stuff today, and came across this list I'd made of the self-help books I bought as I was struggling with stuff in my marriage and coming to terms with the reality of my AH's drinking problem. It's sort of funny (in an ouch/poignant sort of way) how it sums up the progression and I thought I'd share. These are in the order that I bought them over a period of maybe 5 years or so:
Choosing Happiness
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Save Your Marriage: Get rid of your resentment
Breaking Free from Emotional Abuse
Codependent No More
Living Successfully with Screwed up People
Mr Mean: Saving your Relationship from Irritable Male Syndrome
Disarming the Narcissist
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists
Why is it always about You?
Victory over Verbal Abuse
Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
I know I'm in there Somewhere
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Deal Breakers: When to Work on a Relationship and When to Leave
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Taking Space: How to use Separation to Heal your Relationship
The Dance of Anger
Emotional Assault: Recognizing an Abusive Partner's Bag of Tricks
Contemplating Divorce
Getting them Sober
Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic
Reclaim Your Life: You and the Alcoholic
Living with a Functioning Alcoholic: A Woman's Survival Guide
Living With an Alcoholic
Love is a Choice: Letting go of Unhealthy Relationships
Of Course You're Angry: A guide to dealing with the emotions of substance abuse
Divorce and Money
He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40
Daily Affirmations for Co-Dependents
And this doesn't include the Alanon books themselves.
This is certainly an impressive list and a great validation of your sincerity in seeking an answer to the problems you were facing. I'm glad you finally found Al-Anon and Al-Anon literature and are walking with the principles that are so powerful.
Oh wow, firstly hugs; what a lot of reading you have done to try to find ways to make thing work! You deserve an honorary relationship counsellor degree after all those! lol.
I had a look through my ebook purchases and found a similar story. Added to my posts here, it's not hard to remember where I was then and appreciate where I am now.
Thanks for the smile
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I agree that's an extensive list and a testament to great effort put into place trying to live through a dysfunctional existence.
So glad that you have found Al-Anon and perhaps this is the start of a new and wonderful journey!
I have also read a few of these.....now I got a few books, a decent plan, a great sponsor and a workable program. Freedom is nice!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
That's certainly a testament to your unrelenting commitment to trying to make things better for yourself. I'm glad that you put so much effort into examining so many aspects of the situation in your decision making! Congrats!
What strikes me is that it's also a testament to how many people out there suffer. It pains me to think how alone so many of them feel when the never-ending list of publications available demonstrates the exact opposite. I'm sure I feel that way mostly because I was one of them!
Thank you all! I posted the original message as humor, but it IS revealing. And I've kept the list in my journal because at times I did need to remind myself in a short-hand way of my emotional journey and just some of the ways I tried to sort things out. Can you tell I find researching/getting info helpful when I'm confused and struggling?! But as you've all said, it's a common path. Now I focus on the daily Alanon affirmations and those help so much.
Norasq, I found it funny :D but also informative! Good list of books you got there! I think we can never lose when we look at things and want to learn and take the best approach. I am sure you took something from that reading. :)
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
