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I come home last night from a board meeting and found my daughter in full panic mode - she had spilled HOT ramen soup on her computer and fried it. simple description eh? but what she'd actually done is spill HOT ramen on her thigh and has second degree burns and THAT is my biggest worry. She's only 20 and her life is so threatened by this kind of loss - her computer - it will mess up our holiday plans (the beach) (no, it won't, I work enough to be able to see both expenses as do-able). I see her in full panic mode so seldom, willing to be hugged, very rare. I hug her, try to assure her as my mind races - how best to convey to her that this is just a little hiccup in the grand scheme of things. She's crying hard and I get to hug her again - mind you I have rarely hugged her over the last 11 years and keep asking about her leg, make it about her health, assure her that the computer can be replaced, and that this is not the worst thing that could happen. I could come home to a burning house, dying daughter, etc. My mind is in grateful mode - its only a second degree burn, only money that will rectify the computer loss, she will live, dog, cat, house still intact. Today I work an extra job (that will wind up paying for the new computer almost) and after work we go to the city and buy her a new laptop - I understand that it is her lifeline. She still hurts, the wound doesn't look good but I lay some Xeroform on it and it looks better already. My family does not understand - she should pay for her own computer - but I understand - I have agreed to be the money tree for awhile. She matters, money does not. She spent the last hour setting up her new computer - to her credit the last laptop lasted 6-7 years so she's not careless eh? Now she is in her room communicating with internet friends, her life semi-restored.
It really is only money - and loving her is worth so much more than money. God I am so grateful for al-anon tools that allowed me to rise above the chaos and settle things with as little added chaos as possible.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
You know that last line - added chaos - rings in my head - I can choose to work to soothe things over, or I can add to the chaos - I hate chaos and I truly value love.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I love your description of agreeing to be the money tree and getting to hug your daughter. My life exactly with my 17 year old she goes to school and babysits her little sister for me to go to school, so I pay for her stuff and the people that don't understand our agreement don't need to. And oh to get a real hug amazing when she lets me! Glad the earth continued to turn on it's axis, we have those moments happen more with my little one! Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
There are SO many times when I ask myself - HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS? or WHATS THE IMPORTANT THING HERE? and I know the answer - this PERSON is more important (my daughter) and bringing her back from the edge the most vital thing in the world. Everything else is just ..... stuff.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Beautiful share LMH I am so happy that you used your powerful program tools to help your daughter throught his difficult time I agree "things "are not important --"people" are. Glad you were able to hug your daughter.
I'm so glad she's ok. I think you are a beautiful soul, thanks for sharing your daughter is lucky to have a mother like you, sometimes chaos is given to us to let that love show.x
So glad that you were able to use your tools to help her through it. So glad that you had the means and resources for it to be a small deal/issue in the grand scheme of life.
So glad that her burns were not way worse!
(((Hugs))) to you both - sounds like a great example of a Miracle in Progress!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
