The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
C2C for 7-6 speaks about the Book Mark " Just For Today"- ( a small powerful piece of literature that has helped me to learn how to stay in the day and the moment and pray with faith and understanding.
The reading recites the prayer from the Bookmark:St Francis's Peace Prayer :
" Grant that I may not seek to be consoled but to console, to be loved as to love: for it is in giving we receive " and suggests that instead of asking what life is giving us maybe we should ask what we ourselves can give.
By reaching out to help others in a healthy fashion we can move beyond our problems and learn to give unconditionally.
When we discover that we can really make a positive contribution we find our self esteem has replaced our self pity.
If we seek to be an instrument of HP's it is the most loving and generous commitment we can make to ourselves.
Quote is from John Gardner:"When people are serving, life is no longer meaningless "
Years ago when I read this page, I thought; "but I already do that." I'm constantly making my needs invisible and helping others, and it does not work.
My sponsor suggested that the reading points out, if we reach out to others in a healthy fashion that we will replace our self-pity with self-esteem. The way I was attempting to help people was manipulative and controlling and did not work. Al-Anon tools have given me the ability to love unconditionally and to reach out to others with compassion and empathy. Thank you Al-Anon
Thanks Betty - I love that you bolded 'healthy fashion'.....that so reminds me that I am nothing without my HP and I can not give away that which I don't have.
I love, love, love the last line of the first paragraph - "When we discover that we really can make a positive contribution, many of us find that self-esteem has replaced self-pity."
When I first began F2F meetings, I felt so beat down and so worthless in so many ways. However, simple tasks like making coffee and putting away chairs and holding doors open - gave me a sense of doing and helping. I am always amazed at how much better I feel when I am genuinely doing service work with no expectation of return.
I did not understand the difference between enabling, boundaries, rescuing, and help when I arrived. In my mind, they were all lumped together and I do remember feeling, "All I do is give, give, give....I do more than anyone....la-la-la....poor me".
I have learned so much about the above through this program and have given myself back the gift of life, time, love and choice. I can choose today to be happy, be helpful and be at peace. My motives are God-centered and when I can stay God-centered, my life is so much easier...
I love the Prayer of St. Francis. When I was in grade school, we sang a version for choir that has stuck with me my whole life. It's a great prayer that does remind us that the true joy in life comes from giving not getting.
As always, thanks for the post and the wonderful ESH!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
If I were to pick one favorite passage from "Just for today", it would be:
Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Hits home - You realize that when you fret and
worry your eyes fail to see what is beautiful and
ultimately you have nothing to give the world therefore
the world has nothing for you in return. Very reciprocal.
Al-Anon is a God send.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I love this too and have just put it on my desktop to begin using it again. It's really good to have a little al-anon goal in mind each day.
The "doing something nice for someone and not getting found out" is actually kind of fun too, it's not always easy to find an opportunity to do it.
Thanks for the reminder
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
