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I'm not snooping I was told to go in the refrigerator to get out something at my ex A h house and I noticed a beer bottle in the back so yes I was curious to see if it was beer or a non alcoholic one . Needless to say it had 5% alcohol in it . I did not say anything to him . Am I over looking this ? Is it normal for a recovering A to keep beer in the refrigerate
I have no idea if it's normal, but it sure doesn't sound healthy. The thing is, normal or not, what could you do with this information? Scold him? Give him the third degree? Tell on him? Run?I'm trying to learn how to stay on my side of the street and focus on my recovery. I'm sure I would be tempted to do one of the above. Are you going to approach him about it?
Sister I've been sober and alcohol free for just over 36 years. The disease is a compulsion of the mind and an allergy of the body. I won't have anything that will or can trigger the compulsion to drink or react to the allergy I have. So for me the answer is no...for him there might be another answer. 5% is alcohol. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
I too am a double winner with almost 28 years sober. I also choose to keep any/all alcohol out of my home. I rarely host social events that include alcohol, but did once (my nephew was coming to town after being gone for almost 20 years and he had a short window to see additional family members). There was one beer left in the fridge the next day, which I quickly gave away....
I do know of others who are in recovery but have a partner/child/other in the home who is not. They do speak of alcohol being around their home, and no bothers for them. For me, I just choose differently.
While it can happen, I would agree with Jerry that it's not typically the norm for people in recovery to have alcohol around. In this instance, if it were me, I would also not have said or done anything. My powerless doesn't stop no matter how much time I spend in recovery!
(((Hugs))) to you that this is on your mind...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
There is alcohol in my home. Even from left over parties in the fridge - but I don't live alone and all the same alcohol gets put out or offered every time we have a party. We've never gone to a liquor store for any party because folks bring booze and we don't drink it and then just recycle whatever is left over.
A beer in a single person's fridge....? Not a good sign.
No I don't feel like I have a right to say anything we not married anymore but I love him and concern and if he found out I new I'm not sure what he would do but denie it . He lost his job for 3 months and I think he really testing himself about having the bear in his house . I no when he been drinking he calls me a certain name and he constantly repeats him self . Don't know how to come out and ask him with out him telling me mind my own business . What ever happens I no its not my fault . We get along better now we are apart but if he is drinking he not being fare to himself and going to meetings and pretending he is sober .. Again my co dependency is kicking back in .
Wisdom you know what you need, go to meetings
and focus On you and your Own recovery!
I know how hard it is with a (ex) spouse. This is my First
week away from the marital home and him. Its weird
And good at the same time. I am trying to keep on my
Side of the street in major way. Its not easy on my
Part after 30 years of being concerned for him.
We are no longer married He can do as he wants and
i am not around to see anything Of what he is doing.
It is actually has been very healing for me.
Your all right . What he does is his own doing . I guess I tend to not focus on my self a lot and still want to help him . I'm sure I'm wrong about the alcohol . Maybe he wanted me to see it otherwise he would of hid it . But yes I need a meeting I need to get on track again thank you for all the advise .
