The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This might not make much sense; I just need to talk to someone.
My A brother is in his cups today. He gets to the point of being unable to walk but tries to anyway and falls over. It's tiring running up and down the stair to check on him / help him up back into bed. Enabling, yes. But he hits the floor with such a force that the house shakes and I worry that this time he's done some damage to himself.
In spite of that, I'm grateful. I read today about the two most important spiritual practices: gratitude and forgiveness. I've been thinking through a gratitude list in my head today and it's quite wonderful. The day has been more serene that I really had any right for it to be; and that's all down to Al-Anon. Forgiving is harder for me; I still take things personally and need to work on Acceptance.
The past few weeks have led me to start taking my recovery seriously. I've been attending at least one Al-Anon meeting a week for the last four years, and although I've dived into Service, I have not been working the programme with any real conviction. But that is changing, because I realise now that it has to change - I have to change. So, I now have a sponsor who is possibly the wisest person I know and in whom I have great trust. We are working on Step 1 and powerlessness. I'm looking forward to working on acceptance, and many other things.
So, no real point to any of this - like I said, I just needed to connect with the only people I know who will understand this.
(And yes, you are right - I should have called my sponsor today; I'm still getting used to this. Progress, not perfection )
Hey Jock - I 'hear' you and you can share anytime! That's the beauty of MIP and we're all just a post away...
I love that you're pushing yourself to re-engage in your program. I've been through the steps a few times and each time, I learn more about me and what makes me tick. Once I 'see' something new, I then can take necessary action to change, turn-over or keep (not all things revealed are defects).
Glad you are here and glad you posted. Keep making the best of your day - after all - that's all any of us have.....this one day!!
Take care and (((hugs)))!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Jock welcome to MIP I am so pleased to read that you are attending Al-Anon meetings and all working the steps with a sponsor, . Those actions, I believe were the true stepping stones to my recovery.
I can certainly understand your concern regarding your brothers falling because I too lived with my son when he was in that condition and it is not easy.
The acceptance of life on life's terms was a difficult one for me, because I was fearful and lacked faith. My sponsor pointed out that in the 11th step, we pray for knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry it out. It finally reached deep into my spirit that acceptance was merely an acknowledgment of the truth that I was powerless. Once I accepted powerlessness, I could then act in a constructive meaningful fashion.
I really love how you have embraced the program and understand the important of gratitude and forgiveness.Making daily gratitude list really helped change my attitudes and working the steps pointed me towards forgiveness.
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