The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Newbies (like me), it all starts with the Serenity Prayer. I find I'm having to say it out loud or under my breath repeatedly, and at times in a constant loop.
The main thing it does, especially when repeated out loud, is to physically provide an audible stimulus that precludes me from hearing my own rehearsed thought patterns.
It's a crude, but effective way to stop my self-taught behavior regardless of whether or not I am concentrating on dealing in-depth with the issues that surround it.
I find that at the hardest of times, while ultimately my goal is to develop better-focused and far-reaching positive coping skills, it's imperative that I first abate the negative coping skills that I've been clinging to my entire life. It's difficult. The Serenity Prayer says it all. The rest is finesse.
Hi almost there-- you certainly are almost there. So keep up the good work. :)
When I first began program and started to focus on my inner dialogue, I discovered all the negative voices, that constantly repeated within my mind that I never was unaware of. I often wondered why when I arrived at work. I was so angry and began arguing with people. Then I started to listen to the voices that I told myself on the way to work.
I argued my position, judged people, knew that a project would not be completed and on and on and on. By the time I arrived at the office I was furious. My sponsor suggested that I repeat a slogan or the serenity prayer over and over in my mind on the way to the office.
It took a great deal of practice, keeping the focus on the serenity prayer and not go tripping down my negative dialogue. It was the same effort that you are putting out. I achieved the promised change. I arrived at the office rested and ready to work in a constructive manner.
The negative voices still circle overhead, but I have the tools to not pull them in any longer. It is progress not perfection that we seek
I love and use the Serenity Prayer as often as necessary during my daily existence....my favorite tool for keeping my mouth shut and pausing before reacting to situations.
In the beginning, I often used it as my morning prayer to jump-start my day, so a second lovely use of it.
Shortly after coming into the program, my sponsor suggested using the daily reader(s) to center myself for the day. For me, this was a great suggestion and tool as it kept me focused on one/two simple concepts each day that fit very well with life and thinking situations. It took me to a more detailed level that the serenity prayer and helped me begin to embrace and rely on the slogans/concepts/tools in the moments.
I went from having a glass half empty mindset to the great debate of 'new/old patterns' between my ears to the earnest and demanding desire for mental peace.
The program, tools, slogans, literature, steps & sponsor have helped make the transition to my thinking possible. I tried and tried to do it alone for years, and all my knowledge, power and smarts were not enough.
I agree Betty that those negative voices are not far away, but am truly grateful that they no longer reside in me and I now have the tools to keep it that way!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I sometimes use one-liners from the Serenity Prayer, over and over to myself like a mantra - accept the things you cannot change, accept the things you cannot change....
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I LOVE The Serenity prayer for Slowing down my Crazy thoughts, My Biggest Problem seemed to be at Bedtime when I Would Try to Sleep, My Brain would NOT STOP... and I believe as well it was Our (((HOTROD))) that told me to use this a tool, and so I Repeated it None Stop till I Would drift off to Sleep... and it WORKED... I Slept ;)
The Tools We Find here, are Better then anything thing I have Tried before I got into Program, and I am One Grateful Al-Anoner :)
So Glad you are Here, Sharing this Journey with all us "Newbie's" Because Even after 7 years, I Still believe I'm one as well, because there is always another Lesson to Learn ;)
Great reminder for me today. Ive not picked up this tool in a while and your right it is the foundations really. Its got a calming effect on me when i use it and can keep me grounded when i use it like a chant or mantra, like you likemyheart. Thanks for this.x
