The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for June 22 speaks about what it was like when we first entered the rooms and how our attitudes have changed since.
It points out that many of us unknowingly gave our power away by our attitudes and belief systems. We did this by blaming others for our situation and feelings and being a victim . . The reading suggests that no one can make us feel anything without our consent and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can have a great input on our recovery.
I must say that when I first read this page, many years ago, I could not understand how keeping the focus on myself, could affect my attitudes and belief systems. My sponsor pointed out that Al-Anon is all about, taking responsibility for my feelings, thoughts and actions and being able to verbalize these without blaming others.
The reading also suggests that being aware of the words that we choose is extremely important. Communicating more responsibly can be achieved by not reacting but by processing situations and responding. . We can talk about how we feel without blaming others and can validate who we are and what we believe without being a victim. This takes practice and that's why sharing with a sponsor and at meetings is so important
Today's reminder, sums it up well. It asked the question:"What do my words communicate? Do they express what I am trying to say?
And the quote is from the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage; "We learn in time that is not subjects which are controversial, but the manner in which we communicate about them and the elements of personal blame we add to them in anger."
This is a powerful page to meditate on and one that has helped to enrich my life. Learning how to verbalize my ideas, my thoughts, my wants without intimidating or blaming others is a true gift of this program and one I cherish
Thank you Betty! Great read this morning. This is a great meditation piece. The Program is all about changing the person who walked into Alanon. Meditating on this journey will reveal growth and progress made.
I love how each morning, we have the gift of our literature to set my brain straight. Today's reading is a great reminder for me on my 'power' today to be me vs. my lack of power before the program. I had given my power away and then acted like a martyr while blaming others. I absolutely love these lines....
"When I blamed others for how I felt, I was giving them power over my feelings, power that rightly belonged to me."
"Nobody can make me feel anything without my consent."
"I had a lot of attitude-changing to do."
Before the program, I was in a perpetual state of judgement, anticipating the worst and then blaming others for it all. I felt a hostage to the As in my life, and did not see any options that were acceptable or possible for me. I was in a constant state of worry, anger or despair.
Because of the program, the tools, the steps and a great sponsor, I have grown a ton. I do feel that I am responsible for my state of mind and my state of happiness. I can choose to respond or not respond to another, no matter the subject/issue. I react far less often and worry far less too. I am truly happy most of the time.
I too was dubious at the beginning about changing me and the affects outward. I still can't explain to anyone how it works, but do not care. We work together to improve ourselves and all of a sudden, the world is a better place. What a lovely gift!!
Thanks as always for your service Betty!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
