The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My father died over 30 years ago, due to lack of self care after a heart attack. I was in my late 20's. So he has missed out on my son growing up, having a daughter of his own, my getting my education which I had had to stop after surgery, and I never got to relate to him as a mature adult. He had some major flaws as I do too, but I know that he loved me the best he could, with what had been given to him. Some holidays can be very painful and with my alanon tools, today I will be grateful for the blessings I do have. My sponsor helps me by learning not to focus on what I don't have. I have had several significant losses, my career of choice being one of my most painful losses, but today I will celebrate my life and the family of mine who are alive. I appreciate alanon more than I can even say. Lyne
My father died in my early 20s too, he had successfully altered his life due to heart problems then he was killed when he failed to negotiate a curve. My father's untimely death reminds me to try (notice I say try cause i don't always succeed) to live today as if there is no tomorrow. My childhood was hard due in large part to his behavior and I feel very fortunate that we managed to reconnect as father/daughter before his death - largely in part because of the birth of my daughter - seeing him with her was hugely healing - understanding that this man probably loved me the same way but life as a struggling father of five kids got in his way.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
My dad would have been 98 last month. He was of the strong, silent generation.... like John Wayne. He was a successful independent business owner. He owned the only bowling alley in our area that had no drinking and it was full of church leagues every day and night. It was a very popular place. That was my childhood and teenagerhood. Pretty spectacular. He died a few years ago because he "gave up" after my mom died. He had a stroke mainly from his depression and lack of self-care. He wanted to be with her in the afterlife so much. So when he got an infection in his blood we told the docs that he was wanting to die and to let him. Hard decision but I still feel it was what he wanted. RIP dad! You are now with mom.
My dad (and mom) are turning 81 this year. He too is strong, silent but has a scolding stare.....I can still bring that out of him at times - LOL.
Like me, he has his faults, but through the program and steps, I have come to accept ALL those I love exactly as they are. It started with accepting me exactly as I am and making a decision to try and make each day matter.
Much love to everyone and happy Father's Day to any of our MIP members who are dads!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks everyone for your lovely shares and memories of "Dad". My Dad passed when I was in my early 30s and i miss him every day since. He was a big strong man who was so kind, gentle and compassionate-- I thought that all men would be like him!! NOT SO!! Thank you alanon for the tools to live in reality.
My dad died in my early 20's and I miss him a lot! He was an addict, but had so many great qualities I miss his laugh the most! He died of a heart attack while young due to his life choices and well I used to feel jipped with him not being there for my wedding, second born, divorce or anything in my adult life really. But I was so blessed to have gotten to know him and realize he was so wise and regardless of his faults he did the best he could and taught me many great life lessons, whether I was ready to listen or not. Thanks for this post today!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
