The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't posted in a while but need to shout out how grateful I am for this program! I would not be where I am today without it and I am so very grateful.
I filed led for divorce in January and Murphy's Law has been in full effect with the progression of things. What should have been a six week process is still dragging on. Through it all my AH has been escalating with anger, blame and bitterness towards me. Thanks to the program this was a red flag that he is not working a program nor on a road to recovery. For the most part, I have been able to ignore his hurtful actions and not take it personally. However his actions turned harassing and abusive. 40 texts in an evening Saying this is all my fault and all sorts of nasty things. It really started to wear me down. My lawyer sent his lawyer several letters asking for it to stop. He did not and then turned physical with me. I was left with no option other than to file a Protection from Abuse order. The order will be final in the next day or two and he is ticked.
Tonight when he called to say goodnight to the kids, he started to flat out lie to them about visitation. He said that the court has ordered that he cannot be with them. This is a complete lie. We have not had a single court proceeding around custody. For the past 2 years my kids are with me 24/7. He chooses to have dinner with them once or twice a week and that is it. I always make the kids available for visits, but because I have stipulated that he must breathalyze before a visit, he chooses to stay away. I could not believe that he is doing this to our kids. My gut reaction was to get furious. But once again thanks to the program, I was able to turn that over to my HP, take a deep breath and let it go. I was able to think clearly before talking to my kids. I was able to talk about how none of us can control daddy and reinforce my love and dedication to them in a calm, loving and supportive way. I did not feel the need to criticize or discredit their dad. They will have to make their own decisions on what to do with his comments. My HP has this in his loving hands.
Thank you all for your support and wisdom. You have helped me so much. While life is extra full of challenges right now, I can clearly see that I am right where I am supposed to be and I know that I will be ok.
Thanks for posting your ESH and I am sending loving prayers your way.
I see program in action and see some grace bestowed upon your situation. I also see the active disease in your AH, and applaud your program helping you see it is the disease in action vs. him.
My hope is that the Order of Protection limits your exposure to the abuse and gives you more freedom to work your program and continue on your path to peace and serenity.
(((Hugs))) to you, your children and you AH - keep coming back and know we are here for you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Iamhere. Mark- Never considered myself a role model. There are many on this board who helped me get to this point. I don't know if I would have survived if it weren't for all the wonderful people here. MIP is a blessing to all of us.
Hi Tossed Salad Thank you for the positive courageous update Yu are so correct it does work if we work it every day one day at a time You are indeed a Miracle in Progress. :0
