The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's HFT reading is about the ability, with the help of program tools and the strength of our HP, to speak our minds directly in a meaningful way. This reading begins with a description of how it was for someone when he/she first came to Alanon. There was a fear about saying what was on his/her mind in that there would be ridicule or criticism. In my case I was never afraid of what others might think or say about me, I was always afraid that I would be unable to speak (I became too emotional and the first several times I tried to speak at meetings I sat there crying instead!). What I found out was it was perfectly acceptable to sit and cry if that's what I needed to do. It was also fine to distant to other people share. I realized that I could take the time I needed and eventually I was able to speak up at meetings.
Today when I say something that I feel needs to be said I feel relief afterward; I know that I am doing something for myself and because my motives are for self care, it is all about progress within myself and not with any other kind of agenda. One of my character defects I have worked on is sarcasm. I have noticed how much less I rely on that and how much better I feel, how much more honest I am, when I am saying what I mean, meaning what I say, and not saying it mean.
I like the idea of checking in with the God of our understanding before speaking up. In the reading the prayer asks for direction from God. This is also good for me as a reminder not to be stubborn about forcing my own will over God's in any situation.
Hi Mary, Thanks for posting this reading . I can so identify especially regarding the not sharing at a meeting for a long time Placing principles above personalities and being honest, open and willing works best
I also struggled with tears at the beginning. Both in F2F and here - it was easier to sit and cry and type while I worked up the courage to attend a F2F.
I do remember hoping I would not cry there, and did so. And - you are right ... it was accepted and there was no judgement. For that, I will be forever grateful.
I do enjoy starting my day coming here! Thanks for sharing...
Make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
