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A dear friend of mine that also moved away from our tiny little township told me yesterday that my exAH may be dating a very close old friend of mine that I stopped being friends with before I moved due to I was out of the party scene and raising kids and she continued to party with my husband and hers as well. Well now I guess she is getting a divorce and hanging out with my exAH, this stirred me up a little just because of our history and knowing she used to drink with my ex and her husband out at the bars. I was sad for their little girl as well, her little family always seemed pretty happy and her husband was such a nice guy. I used to complain about my husband to her for years and she always complained about hers. Well now here we are and I have a mixed bag of emotions. My oldest is 17 and she said she has suspected something for awhile since her shampoo and conditioner was disappearing very quickly at her dads and some changes that have occurred around his place. I don't want him sad or alone his whole life, just want my girls to have the healthiest scenario to grow up with. My oldest is only home another year and my almost 7 year old is my drama Momma and will have things to say about it when she hears for sure. My oldest had decided to work at the family business and stay with her dad this Summer for a majority of it and I think this will add another dimension for them all for sure. So I am gearing up for changes which always ruffle me a bit before I settle back in and this time I am slightly amused as well. I can only hope this flows well for my children this Summer and hand it all over! I am taking two classes and working all Summer so staying busy as usual. Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I applaud your program at work in your post. I can see how you feel at each step you share and fully understand. I am kind of a character, so one thought I had was, "Why not look up her soon to be Ex and invite him to lunch?"
Ha-ha-ha.....but seriously, I understand the pull at your heart and then the concern for your children. That's what we do - we work as best we can to protect our children and when that is threatened, our first reaction is oh...no....now what?
I am certain that your HP has you and your kids covered and this might be a humorous ride! I am grateful that I've never dated an Ex of any friends but always wondered how the pillow talk is when the new gal already know 'alot'....
Stick with your program emotions and trust your HP. Your children sound healthy enough to share any issues with you and if/when there is a problem, you have tons of tools & HP to help you determine the next right thing.
Thanks for your post - I truly need to see people with real life issues working their program to stay healthy in recovery. You've done and posted exactly what I needed for today!
Make it a great night!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I can relate to your post. I found out that about a month after my divorce was final my ex was seeing someone we went to college with. I think in addition to whatever feelings we might have about moving on to the next relationships for our selves and exes, there is a further complication if the moving on involves someone we know from our past. It sounds like you have two strong and grounded kids and you have a strong and grounded program. It will all evolve as it should.
