The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently I have been Struggling with "A" Family issues, and Then it Dawned on me Why... I Wasn't staying in my Own Back Yard :/ Even when they Come and Dump on Me I Try to Listen and Show Compassion, and Sympathy However, even in Not Passing Judgment on their issues, I tend to Let it Live in my Head More then it Should :/
So After a Very Long Couple of Weeks, I have Found that the Reason this is Stressing me out so Much is Because I'm Shifting My Focus as to Where and Who it should be about... I have Grandkids in this Issue so I think that is where I Struggle the Most, and I have Learned when it comes to the Kids, I Truly have to Deprogram them at times when I have them because even at a Young Age, they have Picked up the ISM's of their Parents, and DWELL On the Negative of EVERY Citation...
Its Just So Hard Sometimes, Trying to Find them Positive in Such an Ugly Disease... I Feel Sometimes that is All I have to Offer them is the Love & Understanding of Knowing EXACTLY what its Like to Live that Nightmare, I remember all to well what its like to have a Daddy that Lies all the time and a Mommy that Couldn't tell the Truth because she was too Busy keeping daddy's Lie alive...
Its So Hard Sometimes to Just Pretend this Isn't happening to someone I love, and There are Days that I Feel "worthy" of Playing God even tho I don't do it... I Still Have Moments I Want to LASH Out at the Parents and Scream... "Do you See What You are Doing to These Kids!" But I Also Know that would Solve Nothing for them or Me...
This Weekend I took the Weekend OFF... Completely and Totally OFF... I Went to Camp and Decided I was Enjoying Every Piece of God's Love of the World, I Mowed Grass, Took Hikes alone, Took NAPS (I NEVER Do this always Felt Guilty), I Did Some Photography of Nature, Took My Kayak out for my 1st Trip of the Year, and Chased Bald Eagles with my Camera for Over 6.5 hours... Every Bit of It was Enjoyable to ME... Every Bit of it was About ME... Even cutting the Grass was All about ME...lol
I'm So Very Grateful I Took that Leap of Faith in 2008 and Decided to Stick with this Program, I Know I Can't Control Others or their Habits or Insanity, Hell Most Days I'm Lucky if I Can Control My Own... But this Program has Helped Me More then Once Come Up out of the Trenches and Appreciate Just How Lucky I Am Not Just to Be Alive, but to have Over Come Such Obstacles and Still Hold my Head with a Bit of Grace, a Bit Compassion, and Truly Opened Up My Loving Heart...
Today Felt Like a Great Day to Be Thankful... What Do YOU Do, To Deprogram? To Get back to your Own Side of the Street and Focus on You? How Do You Stop the Insanity?
Dear Josie I can certainly identify. Although I do not have grandchildren, my brother's children who are in their 30s have started coming to me with their issues. Since their Mom and Dad have passed they need support and I understand .
The "isms" of the disease are loud and clear in each of them and although ,at this moment. none of them are drinking in an alcoholic manner , the attitudes of anger, resentment blame, and judgment are being dumped on my doorstep and I am expected to resolve all issues.
Al-Anon tools do help. I stayed detached as much is possible, do not feed into the judgment and blame, offer some Al-Anon tools to consider and then most importantly I leave early and go home. I truly do refuse to surrender my serenity any longer. When I attend their functions, I stay for an hour or two, treat everyone with courtesy and respect and then leave,
Love going to the gym, my yoga class, walk, read, and visit the puppy Park to watch them play, all of these things help me to stay in the moment and in my own life.
I'm glad that you took yourself away for the weekend and refreshed your spirit
