The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The. C2C reading for June 8 speaks about the Sixth Step:" Becoming entirely ready to have HP remove our defects of character."
The reading goes on to indicate that many of us cherish our defects of character because they are negative tools that we developed to keep us safe. These tools could be: plotting revenge against those who have hurt us, thinking that I'm always right and better than others. Using sarcasm and humor to attack others.
The reading points out that our recovery will have a great giant void if we remain unwilling to give up these shortcomings-- and if I want healing. I must turn my will and my life and my character defects over to God.
The reading asks the question:" is the small temporary pleasure I get from my defects worth the price I am paying to keep them? "If not I can become entirely ready to let them go."
The quote is from the dilemma of the alcoholic marriage; "I know that help is waiting only for my acceptance, waiting for me to say, "not my will but thine be done".
I know I became willing to let go of my defects and ask HP to lift them when I saw how much they were hurting me. One example of actually seeing how my defects were affecting another happened at the office one day. I was angry with an employee and drew on my old tools of sarcasm and humor to address the issue with her. While I was speaking, HP brought me the awareness of the expression on her face, and how she was responding to my words. I saw how hurtful, I was being and how bad she felt, and I became entirely ready to let go of that defect. My other defects were not as dramatic as that one but I did see how they hurt me and kept me apart from others so I was willing to ask for release.
I am so happy that I did. Instead of sarcasm, revenge, taking offense where none was intended, I have learned to be gracious,kind, accepting of others while still validating myself Thank you alanon
I totally agree with the highest form of wisdom being kindness.
I have tried to live my programme in the last 7 years especially using this tool and remembering the loving kindness we need to relate to one another. Especially the people who are not on the programme because they have nowhere to run to.
If there's a dispute between two Alanons they have the ability to Let Go and Let God, he usually finds the peaceful,way.
Good morning Betty and as always, thanks for the daily!
I love, love, love 'not my will but thine be done'. It serves me well when I get stuck in situations that appear unfriendly or insane!
I do believe your approach of gracious, kind and accepting is the target approach! That's my goal always.
My biggest defect is probably judging others. I ask each day for my HP to keep me open and receptive to his will and not judge others. I have to keep close to the front of my brain that just because I choose to work on my defects and seek relief from them in my life that not all do! It is in how I respond to others that shows how well my program is or is not working!
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty for todays reading analysis!! For me recovering my patience and empathy, which such good virtues to embrace, were the outcome of Step 6. Am so glad I found Al-Anon
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
