The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unpleasant news; there are things wrong I wouldn't have ever imagined and I was quite stunned to be honest. He said if I was to become very serious about exercise and keep myself lean and super healthy I could probably avoid needing serious surgeries until later in life. So he fixed the issue I went in for but found worse issues I wasn't even aware of.
So this brought up a lot of stuff for me. I'd been wanting to get this fixed for a long time but during my time with A I never took care of my health or saw doctors, I don't know why, it was just too hard and not a priority. The doctor actually said "I don't know how you have been living with this, it must be so painful" and I said honestly no, it was a few years ago but it hasn't hurt much for a long time and he said "I think you've just gotten used to the pain" and that made me cry when I got home, not out of self pity but just frustration with myself; if I had sought medical attention when the issue began 7 freaking YEARS ago I would be in good health right now but instead I just ignored it and put up with awful pain until I became used to it, and now there is a big nasty consequence and irreparable damage to myself. And another part of the reason I didn't have it seen to was that when I was living with A, it gave me an excuse to avoid intimacy or ask to be left alone when I just couldn't deal with him; I could blame this particular condition. The things I have put myself through to try to turn that wretched relationship into a fairy tale
Anyway. I felt shocked and sad at first but then I thought, every time something bad happens it seems to give me the push I need to do something good.
I have been very out of shape for a long time. I'm not severely overweight but I'm squishy and weak and I get tired very easily. I spend a LOT of time sitting in a chair typing and not much moving around and I've wished I had the motivation to do something about it for a long time but didn't. So now, I have a pretty big motivation and I feel kind of positive about it. Who knows what will happen in 10 or 20 years, for right now I've been told that if I dedicate myself to being lean and healthy I will give myself the best possible chance for recovery and avoid surgery and that's a pretty good motivator.
If the end result is I spend my middle years being healthy and having clothes fit nicely then that won't be a bad thing, it'll be a blessing.
So time to make lemonade...or maybe not, I don't need the extra carbs...lol
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Dear Ms. M, I am sorry to read about the difficult medical issue that you have been living with without appropriate care for so long. I can readily identify with ignoring my own healthin my younger days and worrying about others.
In my early 30s, I ended up in the emergency room and admitted to the hospital with a bleeding ulcer because I decided that I could live with pain, and it wasn't that important.
You certainly look in great shape to me, but if exercise, can correct this problem then I know you have a great motivation to embark on getting healthier. I find yoga, swimming, and walking, excellent ways to keep in shape.
I will confess,that about seven years ago. The doctor was talking to me about my smoking and he said that if "I stopped it would make the journey to the end easier-" WOWl, that woke me up. I agreed to take the prescription, stayed focused on quitting, and today I have not smoked in about 6 1/2 years.
I know you can do this and pray that now with the tools of the program, you will continue to take care of yourself in a healthy fashion--- just as I have have learned to do.
Thanks Betty
I know that in my 2 years as an al-anoner I have tackled a lot of insurmountable difficulties. I celebrated a year smoke free this month after being a very heavy smoker since the age of 11. Recently I was in a room with two ladies who were talking about how they were going to sneak outside for a cigarette. I commented that a year ago I would have been joining them and one lady looked at me incredulously and said "Oh no, I don't believe that for a moment. I can't imagine you have ever smoked, you aren't the type".
The funny thing is, I quit because I got very sick, I believe I in fact had pneumonia (and did not seek help for that either, ridiculous!!) and after 3 weeks of being too ill to even contemplate smoking I just decided to stay stopped and have not smoked since. It was a nasty event that brought about a wonderful change. My driving lessons and test were paid for when a repeated computer error sent me off to an appointment I was angry about having to attend and the fact that someone else was paying for the process motivated me to persevere and overcome my fear of driving so as not to waste their resources and feel ashamed...so a big annoying mix up gave me the gift of driving...I live man-free now and am happy about it when once I thought I would die of single-ness if I ever had to endure it...in act all of the gifts of al-anon came to me because I was in such pain living with the disease of alcoholism that I had no choice but to reach out for help. My long fruitless search for a home n my old town seemed like the end of the world but it ended with me living close to all of the amenities I need now to forge a new future for myself.
The more I see the way negative events can turn into wonderful changes the more hopeful I feel that each time things go wrong there will be a reason, and there will be a positive outcome if I am open to it and willing to accept change.
I can't explain how or why everything has changed so much, it just seems that when I came to realise that I was powerless yet not hopeless things started to go right in unexpected ways.
I love it, it's magic!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I too am so sorry for what you heard and face!!! I love, love, love your program and spiritual approach to the situation and the projected outcome.
I was at a meeting this morning and several were even talking about 'the miracle' of recovery. In what other group can folks come together with extremely different backgrounds and find solutions and serenity by focusing on common steps/solutions?
When I am able to step back and truly see where I am compared to where I was, it can only be described as a miracle in progress. The work is not easy, but the outcome is so worth it!
Thanks for sharing this - it is by reading, hearing and processing how others handle issues in their lives that I find the fortitude and grace to pursue.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
