The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There are a couple of women in one of my classes that don't get along well,I don't know what the underlying issue is ,but you can feel the tension between them when they are in the room.Yesterday there was a big blowup between them.They started arguing and yelling,it was close to getting physical! My heart started pounding and I got up and went outside until the conflict was over.It really triggered my anxiety,just seeing people very agitated and aggressive reminds me of some of the things I have been through and I don't appreciate that behavior at all.I feel like as a student at college I shouldn't have to be worried about things like this.This isn't the only incident of women arguing,there have been others.I am wondering if it is just my area,or do all women have problems getting along,it seems like an epidemic.I certainly present myself well and expect to be treated with respect and to respect others.I almost said something about what happened in class,but decided against it.I have never seen such an immature display of behavior from two grown women.
Wow, was the instructor there? If so, they should have intervened. Maybe they were so surprised they couldn't get their wits together. But they should have a plan for next time. This nearly happened in one of my classes (I teach college classes), and I had to put a stop to it. It should never be allowed to continue. If you feel able, I would suggest going to talk to the instructor during office hours and say you felt uncomfortable and hope he or she will put a stop to it if it happens again. No need for a reply, just to register that it was troubling. They should consult their head of department if they're unsure of ways to put a stop to it. If the instructor wasn't there, all I can say is: Aren't people just too much sometimes? They must have come from backgrounds where they sadly never learned to handle their strong emotions.
I understand... there are so many things that can trigger us (PTSD?) from the obvious like two people fighting, or something as benign as someone walking behind you. I was at a face to face meeting a couple weeks ago and a really nice, calm woman in the group walked behind me during the meeting to throw something in the trash can. I just knew she was going to hit me from behind. I sat there resigned and paralyzed for a couple seconds and the realized it was just because the meeting made me feel vulnerable. I feel like it is no surprise we all have triggers and there is no need to apologize (speaking for myself).
I am sorry that you are having these stressful triggers and I hope the people in charge get this squared away -- I can't imagine any of the students doing well in a tense atmosphere.
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Peace comes from within. Do not seek it from without. Buddha
