The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
That's the one that gave me the most pause. One of my character defects (working on it....) is being direct, at times - overly. So - I do often apologize for how I said something....not necessarily what - but the delivery.
Thanks for sharing!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I use to apologize for my delivery and I felt my self-esteem dropping. One of my values is being kind, so I do pause before I choose words. However, I have learned it is just better to acknowledge (validate) the feelings/experience that my words may have created for the other person. I feel better and so does the other person.
Ya......I've been working (hard) to pause before I choose my words. It does help/work, but I still slip at times. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Betty ... I am trying to do the next right thing. Focus on me..learn this program...and expose myself to triggers. I don't really know what my triggers are anymore. I usually hear words on tv now and get blindsided now. I don't avoid places anymore out of fear. I avoid them because I checked with my values and just don't want to go there.
I have created a lot of physical space from my ex-A and I needed that. I no longer feel guilty about that. Getting there... Progress not perfection!!!!
I had a really good day today. Actually, I have had lots of really good days
I was even sick on Monday and still created a good day!!!