Hello Lainey, Welcome to Miracles in Progress I can understand your concerns and disappointment over the house. I found that learning how to negotiate for a home takes a little expertise and is a learning exhausting process.

I have realized that the result of growing up with and living with the disease of alcoholism, I was a perfectionist who did not allow myself, the freedom to explore ideas and choices. I too would beat myself up mercilessly have a plan did not go the way I had anticipated, or if it rained on a day that I wanted to go to the beach.

Looking back I can see how insane that might've been but at the time I blamed myself and thought, I should've known better and figured out a better day to go to the beach or make another plan.

Al-Anon has taught me that accepting life on life's terms is the key to living with serenity and peace. Trusting that life is a process, and if I keep showing up, learning from my experiences, I will grow and know how to live life with courage serenity and wisdom.
You are not alone and being gentle with myself was one of the key tools that I learned here. Looking inward, making an asset and gratitude list really helps me to appreciate what I had and stop beating myself up.

You are not alone so please keep coming back

My wife and I were moving from the condo I own to a rental house about five years ago, and the rental fell through. We had to pack everything up, put it in storage, board some our pets (at that point 4 cats and a foster dog, the 2 rabbits and Griffin got to stay with us.) We moved in to a bedroom at my mother-in-laws. One bedroom, 2 adults, 2 rabbits, and a border collie/blue heeler mix for close to three months. My in-laws were going to help us with house financing, and we found the perfect quirky house 20 minutes away from the university. In a small city, but with an acre of land and a small barn that had been converted to a 2 car garage. It would have been perfect.

But, the financing fell through, and we ended up renting a farmhouse an hour outside of town instead. And, adding 3 more rescue dogs to the mix. I learned a lot at that farmhouse. (Like, how to walk 5 dogs at once, how to thaw pipes when they freeze in the winter, how important it is to have "keep fill" arrangements with the propane company, why furnaces should not be located in a dirt crawl space under the house (gas leak), how to turn off the gas in an emergency outside, how to replace subfloors, how easy tiling with vinyl tile is, etc.)

I guess, I still would have rather been in the perfect house, yet today, but I have had a whole lot of experiences I wouldn't have had, thanks to not being able to get financing. I try to remind myself that things happen as they should, and I have to just trust that everything is going to work out as it should. And, I try to remind myself to stay flexible. I am thinking about purchasing a house again in a year (when I know if I have a permanent position or not), and I am trying to keep myself open to a lot of possibilities. Even those that I didn't think I would ever consider again, like purchasing a house in the city near the university where I work. I think that, once I find the house I am supposed to be in, everything will work out as it should.

Aloha Jerry. It's too late as someone else bought the home. I just need to move on now. Thanks for your hugs!

 

 

I did the same thing buying my last house.  I went low in the face of a higher offer and insisted the presenting agent present anyway.  The higher offer was all cash with a quicker closing however I've been in Al-Anon for a long time and knew that there is no such thing as done until my Higher Power and everyone else says so.  They presented my offer and countered reasonably and my wife and I accepted.  The seller was willing to go the longer closing terms and loan requirements and we now live in that house.  Part of it was fun...expect fun...create it when and where you can cause sellers like fun too.  I did my own inspection because I am qualified and when I was under the house inspecting the plumbing the seller was under the house making sure it was clean...its not a basement but a crawlspace and while I was there she stops and ask, "Who are you and what are you doing"?  I replied and she asks me "Do you think they will like the house"?  and I replied "I know they will like it" so she asks,  "How can you be so sure"? to which I respond because "I am the buyer".  She looks at me surprised and asks, "What are you doing under the house"?    We laughed about that for a while...she was also my neighbor across the drive.  Sometimes mistakes become miracles...good luck   ((((hugs))))