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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Raising the child of an alcoholic child
Post Info TOPIC: Raising the child of an alcoholic child
TomMc


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Raising the child of an alcoholic child
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I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality.  Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unemployable. Sometimes I feel ready to run. She is totally supported by us except for Medicaid for her and her son. She completed an in-patient program a few weeks ago, and frankly I see no difference. I cannot nag her to get out of bed or try to have a productive day. So what the h--- am I supposed to do? My wife and I are so resentful! We spent lots of money rescuing her from her failed marriage and helping her with the birth of her child (by another man). Now our retirement plans are ruined, we have no money left, and are surrogate parents at the age of 69.  There, I got it out. I am angry and desperate.    



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hotrod


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Welcome Tom Mc, I'm so glad that you found us and had the courage to share with such honesty and clarity. Alcoholism is a dreadful, chronic, progressive disease over which we are powerless. Living with the disease we too become affected in a negative fashion and need a program of recovery in order to regain our self-esteem, hope, and ability to enjoy life once again.
 
It is fantastic that you have found Al-Anon face-to-face meetings and are attending. It is here that I learned I didn't cause the disease. I couldn't control it and I couldn't cure it, but that I could find new constructive tools to live by that would help me rebuild my life with courage and serenity. Breaking the isolation caused by living with the disease is crucial to recovery, and it is good that you are attending meetings.
Living one day at a time, keeping the focus on myself, learning to act in my own best interest, rather than reacting, and connecting with others who understood as few others could, all helped me to learn to live with this disease with courage serenity and wisdom.
 

 

You are not alone and there is hope so please keep coming back


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Iamhere


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Hello Tom Mc and so glad you found MIP.

All that you feel is normal - many of us have been there....So glad to here that you've found local meetings in your area and have attended them.

My best suggestion for you is to be gentle with yourself. Try as best you can to worry about the now - not the past and not the future. As you engage in the program, you'll get excellent support and tools to help you move forward.

Betty's right - you are not alone! Thanks for being here and please stick around...

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Raising the child of an alcoholic child