The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection .
The reading goes on to say that when we hear:." Be gentle with yourself" at an Al-Anon meeting, it would be helpful if we pictured finding a kitten and holding it in our hands. We can then imagine the feeling that we might have towards that sweet creature, the tenderness, patience and compassion, and love and then quickly put ourselves in the kittens place and focus all the gentle feelings in our direction. It works.
The reading gently points out that as we grow, using the Al-Anon program we come to realize that HP holds us in the same gentle way protecting, guiding and loving us each and every day.
Today's reminder states if we are being hard on ourselves we can stop and remember that we deserve, gentleness and understanding. That being human is not a character defect! Today I will be gentle with my humanness.
Today's quote is from John Ruskin, "the question is not one a man can scorn, or disparage or find fault with, but what he can love and value and appreciate".
This is a powerful meditation to sit with her a while and absorb. I think before I entered Al-Anon I thought it was my responsibility to scorn and disparage anything that I disliked so that I would appear superior. It is amazing to discover all the faulty thinking that I developed over the course of growing up. I am so glad Al-Anon has given me healthy tools to live by.
Today I am being gentle with myself by putting on sun screen and going to the beach.
I have been thinking about gentleness a lot. When I first started attending meetings, and people would suggest I be gentle with myself, I thought that meant that I just needed to slow down and not push myself so hard. I figured I was getting another needed lesson in patience, because I am NOT a patient person. At least, not internally. (Although, when I reveled that to my HR person at work, she was shocked, so I must do a pretty good job of not showing how impatient I am most of the time.)
Lately I have been hearing "gentle" in a different way, much more like holding a kitten, or helping my Chloe out of a panic. What a revelation that I can treat myself with the same gentleness that I have for Chloe and my boys! This gentleness is stable, it is strong, it is safe, and it is caring.
I must help co-host a baby shower for a step-sister-in-law today. My wife has been having a meltdown about this and the existence of the new baby for weeks. She is somehow upset that her mom is treating the baby as a granddaughter when it belongs to a step-child. Today is the kind of day when I picture myself moving through the day with a chock-hold on my serenity, least it get away from me, lol! Perhaps my new understanding of gentleness will help me actually maintain serenity by releasing the chock-hold.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Betty for the daily....I stockpiled all week + as I knew today was going to be a hard day. I scheduled down-time as well as a meeting & lunch with a program friend.
I had to enforce a boundary and evict my son. Unlike any other time, I gave him notice and helped him move. I wanted to scream and cry on one level and instead kept repeating Trust HP in my head.
A hard and difficult day made a bit easier through this program, the tools, my sponsor and other program friends...
Love the 'kitten' analogy. I need to be a kitten for a while...I think!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
