The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn't live close to me me and I'm getting concerned that this depression could lead to a relapse. Has anyone had this type of experience with an adult child?
While I cannot speak to your specific situation, I can say that AlAnon has helped me deal with my wife's addiction and that it has made a huge difference in my life. MY face-to-face meetings have helped a lot as well.
I hope you keep coming back, you are not alone.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Hi mom, I don't have any addicted kids, but I know my hubby was quite depressed and the AA meetings got him through it. He also got cancer and depressed from that...... and the AA meetings got him through that too.
You are judging her life by the parts that she lets you see. Keep encouraging her to go to her meetings. Also try to find some alanon for yourself. About half the people that I go to meetings with are there because of a child.
I have two boys and they are both addicts. One is sober almost 5 years and the other is still using. Both have been diagnosed with depression - the sober one no longer is and the using one still is and is medicated. I have wondered for years, what came first - the drug abuse or the depressions and have researched until my eyes crossed over how intertwined they are or are not. The bottom line - it really doesn't matter what I read, research or find - they are on their own path and will make their own choices.
My youngest (using son) hasn't been able to maintain a sober period longer than 60 days. While I wish he could 'get it' and 'keep it', I've had to turn him over and work the Alanon program for me. I can't control the disease, I didn't cause the disease and I can't help him for the cure....it's got to be his choice and I remain hopeful that he will get what he needs to be happy in his life.
So, I have experience with depression, sobriety, relapse and more but at the end of the day, I am working hard to let my boys live their lives and I live mine. There is nothing you can do to prevent what happens tomorrow, no matter how hard you try or want to.
Glad you are here and do encourage you to explore the Alanon program. Many have walked in our shoes and are more than willing to offer support and ESH (experience, strength and hope).
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have an addicted wife and step-daughter. I'm here because trying to help them, control them and mitigate the damage they caused finally brought me to a breaking point where I realized I was doing just as much damage as they were and was finally just as sick as they were. Addicted to their addiction. You are not alone. Al-Anon is help for you. They have to find help for them. There is lots of understanding and care in the program. I hope you give it a try.
Some of us alcoholics/addicts need outside help. This is part of her program to negotiate. She missed out on learning to make friends and date normally due to being drunk and high during that period of her life. Now she is like socially retarded in a way. I went through that. It was painful...but I stayed sober. Hopefully she will do the same. It's her journey. I know you don't want her to have to struggle and hurt as her mom, but this is part of her next challenge in sobriety. It is normal. Year 2 is when challenges with emotional sobriety hit hard. Prayers for you and her too.
