The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes.
The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to others is extremely difficult and that is why we sometimes use the tool of pretending that something never happened or justifying my behavior. The price that I pay for this is guilt.
Al-Anon offers us an alternative--- the 10th step. This step states:" we continue to take personal inventory and when wrong promptly admit it.."
When I admit the error, take responsibility for my actions, I set myself free from the burden of embarrassing secrets and move closer to accepting my imperfections.
The quote is from Samuel Butler: I care about truth, not for truth sect before my own".
I must say when I began to practice this program. I had to be very careful when admitting that" I was wrong", as the step outlines. Since I felt I was "wrong "in everything I did and thought, I needed to get more clarity on my behavior and motives before admitting my wrongs to others.
I would do the 10th step each night, substituting the word, when I felt wrong and tried honestly to look at my motives and my actions and admit to myself. the truth of what I saw. I've then asked HP for guidance in eliminating them and moved on.
Today I can have more clarity on my part in situations, I do not always feel that I am wrong, have my healthy self-esteem restored and can now admit I'm wrong to others and attempt to make amends.
I guess I can say that Al-Anon gave me permission to be human, which is an imperfect being.Thanks for letting me share
Must admit Al-Anon brought all of this home for me quickly and very glad for it, I might add!! Just love Al-Anon and all the steps!! {{HUGS}} to you Hotrod for your daily posts!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
The dailies are so helpful to me each morning in grounding me for the day.
If I pick up and carry my tools, I can go any where and be 'safe'!
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
