The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello friends - i have not posted since the dysfunctional co worker post. The co worker does not bother me so much anymore, mostly because I tune her out and also she is really declining, 83 years old and mostly just walks around the office.
Yesterday, a train hit me. I know my bosses are dysfunctional and in denial. One of the Electricians that I really like gave his two weeks notice. He had been there 13 years and we had talked about other jobs and how he has a family. There have been a lot of people quit this company to go to better places in the last 7 months that I have been there. This one hit me really hard.
I have been crying off and on since yesterday. It's not so much that he quit, I will miss him a lot. It's the realization of how sick these people I work for really are. I did not want to see it before, but now it is just glaring me in the face....
Last night at a meeting, the shaares were about the alcoholic, he drinks this and does that, lives will be better after the a's are gone.
Well I am here to tell you, all my a's are gone, I have been in this program insce 1994 and I still struggle. It's the rest of the dysfunctional world too.
For now, I am going to feel my feelings....I want to get to the point where I go look for another job. I have low self esteem and can find a thousand reasons why I don't go job hunting.
Thanks for listening, I will get there. I feel like I am peeling the layers of the onion.
(((Robinks))) - so very sorry for your pain. I have always had a difficult time with changes in the work place - we do spend almost a third of our lives there, so it stands to reason that what happens there is often brought home and beyond.
My best suggestions for today - breathe! Use that serenity prayer to get you through the tough moments. Hang with the winners until you are inspired to seek a change. When I was with difficult people at difficult jobs, I used to tell myself - it's for a paycheck....I can do anything for 8-10 hours!
I know I am powerless over more than my As - I am also powerless over people, places and things. Do something nice for you today and make sure you bring your HP along for support.
Make it a great day and know that you are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((Mercedes)) My low self-esteem tainted years. Looking back, I think it shrank when from my regular practice of gratitude.
Low self-esteem is such an unwelcome invader when we live with active alcoholism, and mine didn't go away when the alcoholic finally left. It was worse. ("He's awful and I don't even have him.") How nonsense is that? Yet I wrapped myself in that hair shirt way too long.
It was helpful to practice seeing myself as a loving friend might. How would you (as friend) describe yourself to someone who didn't know you? What would you tell your "you" friend about the hurt you are feeling? I even used that as my own grandma. What would grandma have said to soothe me? Then I told that to myself. You get the idea. I found my biggest advocate and biggest comforter and was them.
What you are feeling isn't based on fact. It's based on having been affected by this disease.
You will be able to find better working conditions once you sell yourself that you deserve the employment worthy of you. Maybe the discomfort about work that you're feeling now can urge you to take steps to value yourself. Who better?
Hey Mercedes, I too found the world pretty dysfunctional and discovered that practicing these principles in all my affairs worked.
Making daily asset and gratitude list really confirmed my assets deep within me, and that helped to restore my self-esteem. If I was considering changing jobs, I would:
Making a Pro and con list List my assets pray the 11th step prayer daily and trust that HP had a plan. You got this so keep coming back
