The material presented
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2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with my family for lunch. My father had two cocktail looking drinks...not sure if they were MOCKtails/non alcholic or what. My mind and body are responding to the situation as if they were alcohol and my heart tells me it was. I could not hear what he ordered...noisey place. I made up an excuse to leave early and am now at home. I know I need to attend the graduation, but I am at home throwing up and a nervous wreck. Please help guide me through this. My sponsor's phone is shut off :( I am an adult by the way. Thanks
I know you know that we cannot control others' choices to drink or not. We can decide what to do ourselves. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself whether your father is drinking or not.
The serenity prayer helps me to show up with courage , serenity and a little wisdom . Staying detached and reciting a slogan also helps
Prayers for your peace.
<<<Hugs>>> to you. While it doesn't seem like it, you will survive this. Take your HP with you IF you decide to go. I say IF only because you do have choices!!!
Keep the faith and take care of you.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Living508, I just want to let you know that I understand how you must have felt at the restaurant. I, too, have had that feeling of panic and anger and hopelessness at seeing someone drink, or suspect that they had a drink, when I thought they had committed not to. At the time, I could not even look at wine/beer bottle labels, or logos, or advertising, or the stacks of wine bottles in the grocery store, without being disturbed and feeling panic about what had happened in the past.
It did get better for me. I have been working the program, and as time has gone on and I have reclaimed my own life, I feel much better. I have boundaries so the disease cannot affect me as much as it did before.
I hope you were able to go to the graduation and celebrate your brother's achievement.
Awww I'm sorry. It's an horrible feeling that comes over us when think someone is using again. Maybe ask hp to help you separate out your feelings about it so you can enjoy celebrating your brother's accomplishment. You really don't know for sure that your dad was drinking alcohol. If he was... well, it's disappointing but that disappointment doesn't have to supercede the joy of being part of your brother's day. The choice is yours. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
thanks for the responses! I came home after lunch and read several passage in C2C. I did get physically ill....fever and all! Crazy thing was, my body was going nuts but I was able to keep my mind in check. I went to the graduation and the valedictorian said something along the lines of "you choose what to do each day" My heart filled with joy. I turned to my dad and smiled and waved...then looked up on the stage and smiled at my brother.
I knew after the graduation was over I was going to be alone with my thoughts. I am choosing to rejoice in my ability to work through this difficult situation rather than go through all the what ifs.
My husband (who works offshore and has a VERY difficult time acknowledging my father's illness or the effects it has on me...despite us both going to counseling!) said "why dont you just ask him what he was drinking." I told him...."it's not up to me to investigate what happened."
