Welcome back Iamhere. I too have recently returned and I believe I have been off the board for 3 years. I had tried living life thinking that I had this program down but that's not how it works at all so I returned to the board as well as my f2f meetings. Double qualifier as well. Lie has been well just crazy. Our of control and the more I attempted to gain control the worse it seemed to get. The sending a kid packing I also know well. It pains you heart but it also some how relieves you in way too. In no way shape or form is it an easy decision to come to. But my son was stealing from us selling our belongings, breaking into the house while we were away. It was just too much for us to deal with. He attempted out patient rehab and didn't complete that and eventually went into an in patient facility. He did get kicked out for failing a random drug screen, he was dirty for suboxen. He was well past the point that he would have been given it by the facility doctors so they had to send him packing. We got the call at 3:00 a.m. and I told the counselor that he was not coming back to my house that he needed to find a 3/4 way house and stay there and work his program and learn responsibility. He did not want to go with that plan so they got him a bus ticket and he went to his girlfriend's, at that time, house. I'm not sure if he stayed clean while he lived there. But he came to realize that he agreed with our plan that we had wanted for him to do. By that time it was too late. He ended up in FL with relatives and started a new life working 2 jobs at a time for awhile and then finally working a job that he really liked and did very well there. But eventually his addict ways reappeared and disrespect for the home he was living in and the rules that he was given. He then moved back home, here with us, and we allowed him to "rest" for 6 weeks before we were about to tell him he had to look for a job. He started on his own. Again finding two jobs to work. Not working any program during all of this time. But, hello neither was I. Neither was my AH. So after a couple of months things started to return to way they had way back when. The difference this time was he had slips on pills he wasn't doing his drug of choice heroine. But all of us were still right back where we had been before he left to go to rehab. CRAZY TOWN. Things are starting to settle down, I began going to my f2f meetings first then I knew I needed more so I came back here. It was kind of difficult because my mentor, RLC, was no longer here. He kept me in my place while he was here. But I could read his PM's and recall his advice. Which was right on time. I just want to let you know, of course, you are not alone. The name may be different but we all have a lot in common. Keep coming back. I also went to an online meeting last night. I personally enjoyed that. I am really trying to get back in to taking care of myself. Doing some thing for myself at least for a little while once a day. Things are not back to normal, I'm not really sure what that looks like anymore. But I am starting to feel like myself again. I still searching for my serenity within and it starts with this program and all of the ESH we can get and give one another.
So happy to have you back.

Welcome back iamhere This is a" we " program so please keep coming back You are not alone