Well I can say that I had a fantastic Mother's Day, did not have to lift a finger to do anything yesterday. It was wonderful. Although there was an over shadowing of a sad feeling. My son, actually step-son although we don't use those terms in our family, had texted me Saturday night to tell me that he wasn't coming to see me (he is an hour away at college except that his classes have ended) on Mother's Day. He explained that he had to work from 12-4 and then he was going to his mother's house, a half hour past where I live. He also said that he would come up Monday to see me after court (for a minor fender bender a few weeks ago) and his training at work. Now, originally before that text, I had planned to go down there and go to court with him and possibly have breakfast or something. However after that text I didn't really feel like I should. I have raised this child since he was 4 years old, when his mother decided that she couldn't handle his behavior anymore. She literally called the night before Easter and said she couldn't take it anymore (around 10:30 pm) and she was dropping him off to us. Of course we were perfectly fine with that. When she arrived to drop him off, he was so distraught crying and pleading to stay with her, and when she brought him to me at the door step he wanted to hug her and she pushed him away. Now of course there could be so many reasons for that but my concern was my son and his feelings. I felt like a good bye hug might have been appropriate given the situation. Be that as it may she pushed him away. He cried even harder and louder. I took him inside and told his father to go out there and deal with her because he did not want me to. Not right that moment. I was WAY too angry. I do have to say that my son was an extreme handful and had very bad behavior. Which took me awhile to get him out of. But I did. His mother had no contact with him for over 4 months. Not even to check with us about him. Anyway that was 17 years ago. His relationship with her and her family has been sporadic at best. His great-grandmothers loved me and praised me for how well he had turned out. Sadly they both passed away. Even her father called me his mother. He also had sadly passed away. This kid never left my side after I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I had a year of chemo, he was right there helping me, I had brain surgery and he was there for through my rough recovery. I nursed him through chronic croupe, which if any one knows what that is knows how horrible that cough sounds. I digress I have been there for him to make him into the man he is today, a successful college senior with a 3.0 GPA. I am just hurt that I was not a top priority to him. So it is after 9:30 a.m. and I don't know what had happened in court and don't think I will be told about it either. I wish I were further along in my own recovery toward serenity to better be able to deal with this situation. I am unable to detach and let go and let God in this matter. I am praying though but my heart is aching. I have got to do something for myself today. Just for me!!! I have vented enough on here and do feel a little bit of relief letting these feeling out of my head. I am signing off of here and am going to do my daily readings. Thank you all for "listening", ((((((((((to you all)))))))))

FYI, I really do love my son!!! I'm sure you all know that. Thanks again.