I'm doing a little venting and contemplating at the moment so just trying to get it out here .. LOL .. sponsor is on vacation and she deserves not to listen to me whine. 

My XAH did not take the kids this weekend at all .. the ironic part is this .. he already set them up not to even ask last visitation and I have a strong suspicion he's gotten the information on a new court date.  So he's taking it out on the kids because he's unable to take it out on me .. lol .. which is fine. 

Our oldest text him Friday and asked if they could see him SATURDAY as it's not mother's day that day .. LOL.  She gets it from her mother I swear .. he text back and said he was working .. oookkk .. he's working 24 hours on Saturday?  She looked at me and rolled her eyes I attempted not to say anything else about it .. some days are better than others.  I think I might have said alrighty then.  Our youngest was not pleased however his response was well whatever .. if he wants to work vs see us that's his issue not ours.  I just said I was sorry that his dad felt that way, it is what it is.  So we had a date night Friday and also Saturday .. had a fabulous time .. LMAO .. I mean seriously I channeled my inner nerd and got my game on.  I have unleashed a serious hard core gamer on my hands.  His mentors are officially impressed and a little afraid ... lol .. they should be.  Here's the irony of all this ... my boy spends more time with these men than he does his own dad and they take a bigger interest in him.  I have seen some changes, ... very, very positive changes in him.  He is blooming and I love it.  He's such a neat kid.  He loves playing this game.  So next Friday is a big deal for him and I think he's going to do very well.  I'm extremely excited for him.  He is a killer with these cards and I laugh because I think me playing and beating him had something to do with it .. now he's more focused on thinking and knowing about his cards. I love that him and I can do this together and hang out.  I still go to my meeting and stuff I just come back after and hang out with him.  I think I'm finally forgiven after this last tourney for wrecking his deck as he called it NOW he gets it and he's using that deck to its full potential which is going to rock some worlds.  LOVE IT.  Yes, my inner Athena roars when I watch him play.  Yes, his mentors all think I'm twisted in a very good way .. LOL!

As I look at this I think about how I have had my life on hold for so long now.  It's just so crazy it's stupid.  Still not interested in dating I mean if a date landed on my door I think I would and could go .. I'm not interested in pursuing a date.  I am starting on a pool league which starts on Tuesday.  My best friend and her family .. I should say one of my best girlfriends.  I so look forward to getting out during the week.  It will be fun to shoot some pool and relax.  I channel my inner Athena that route too. 

It's a lot that is going on over the next few weeks.  I'm just going to have to roll with the punches on this big time. 

Here's hoping the dang court stuff is OVER sooner than later. 

This Mother's Day I'm enjoying my kids someone else's kiddo and just hanging out at the house.  I am not interested in crowds so we already did our mother's day eating out.  I have had such a good time with these children of mine.  My daughter had a great weekend with her friends.  Last weekend we had such a fun time hanging out and went to a fight party .. so I feel like I'm getting my social needs met at this point.  OMGOSH I went to a dinner and a show yesterday for this gal's son and it was AMAZING .. those kids are sooo talented and out here this is a big deal something called show choir.  That was the best thing ever.  I will admit to feeling horribly socially awkward .. however I did my best .. thank goodness I am apt to talk about nothing in terms of making small talk.  It was hard to be sitting alone in a group setting I will not lie.  I really enjoyed the performance and I have no regrets about going.  I had to make myself come out of my shell and make myself be outgoing .. when I'm in a safe environment like at work this is not an issue .. however .. in situations where I am in a new area it was REALLY difficult. 

It was worth it and this gal is someone I would walk through fire for because of the kind of person she is .. so it was worth my discomfort to support her and her son.  He's a long time friend of my daughter's. 

Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY to all of the folks out there raising kids and doing the best they can .. there are days that are easier than others. 

Hugs :)