The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issue and he does whatever he wants and I take care of the kids alone because "he needs independence" to keep his mind off drinking.
Sure, he says I can go do things I want to do...but only so he can turn around and go do what he wants to do the rest of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I love being with them, but sometimes it is frustrating to be at the whim of what he wants to do.
And I'm supposed to "feel bad" for him...feel bad that he can't drink. Feel bad for the thing that is absolutely ruining our lives?? Feel bad for you that you can't get drunk and have sex with other women? Feel bad that you can't play poker with the guys and then drive drunk and scream at me in front of the kids then pass out?
I don't feel bad. I don't feel sorry for him. He's constantly talking about how nothing will ever be fun anymore without alcohol involved---I forgot that his one true love it a bottle of wine.
I'm venting. Just needed to get this out so I can go back to being as supportive as possible and put on my happy face. Sigh.
Hi butterfly, I can certainly identify with your dilemma. Prior to Al-Anon I was engaged in the same activities-. Taking care of my son alone while hybby did whatever he felt like drinking or not drinking.
Entering Al-Anon it was suggested I keep this focus on myself , not react to situations but take time to think through what I wanted , keep an open mind , and respond in a positive direction.
Accepting the fact that alcoholism is a disease over which I was powerless , I was set free to enjoy planning for the weekend going to zoos, the beach, picnics, zoos parks, bicycling , skating, etc. I always made sure I would invite him and he declined and then off we went.
Living life on life's terms is a powerful lesson of this program
i would review the alanon do's and dont's . One advises you to seek hobbies and interests outside your ah and your kids. its good for you and can give you a fresh outlook.
since i dont drive, I crochet for charity and pleasure, read and try to interact with neighbors
