The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome worried mom, I'm glad you found us and have reached out. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease over which we are powerless. I understand your concern over your daughter and I do believe Al-Anon face-to-face meeting will be able to help you
The 12 steps are tools that we use Al-Anon in order to help us recover from the devastating effect of living with the disease of alcoholism.
Firstly we admit that we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. We then begin by trusting a power greater than ourselves in deciding to live our lives in a different fashion.
In the fourth step, we look inward at the tools that we are currently using that may be hurting ourselves and then we break the isolation by sharing this information with a trusted Al-Anon member. We then proceed to be willing to let go of these destructive tools, and develop new ways of living. We Pray, we meditate, we keep the focus on ourselves, we do not give advice and we elect tolive according to the principles of the program. That is a summary of the 12 steps .
The program is a process and we strive for progress not perfection. We first enter the rooms is recommended that you listen, pickups slogans that might appear helpful for you find a sponsor. They can walk with you through the steps and keep coming back.
I am a father of an alcoholic daughter. She started drinking when she was a teenager. We thought she would grow out of it. She did not. At 24 years old, she was fully engulfed in the disease. When she was trying to detox on her own, she had a heart attack and nearly died. After a week in the hospital, we were full of hope, because this was the "bottom". They were going to help her into treatment and she would get sober. Then I'd be OK.
Three day out of the hospital, she was drunk again. That sent my wife and I to Al-Anon. We were pretty sure we'd find a way there to get her to stop drinking. It was pretty clear that I did not understand the 12 steps, either.
The encouraging thing I saw at the meeting was people who seemed to understand what I was going through. They talked about alcoholism in such a way, it made me feel like there was some kind of hope. They said, "Keep coming back!" And that's what I did. Even though I did not want to, I kept showing up for the meeting.
Eventually, I stated to get a little bit of understanding about what the program was all about. I got a sponsor and started working on the 12 steps.
It has been 4 years since the first meeting. My life is different. I found out that, whether or not my daughter drinks, I can be OK. I have found some sort of peace that makes life good, no matter what is going on around me.
So, rather than try to understand what the 12 steps are all about right away, just find some meetings to go to. Keep going.
Eventually, you will want to "work the steps". You will find that it is not so much about understanding them as it is in being willing to do them. Find a sponsor that has worked the steps, and have them help you. Get involved with some kind of work, even if it is only making coffee for a meeting or giving a public outreach package to your doctor. Get some Al-Anon literature and read it every day.
Al-Anon makes no guarantees that your daughter will stop drinking. Your daughter, like mine has a disease that will not respond to anything we to do to try to stop it. In fact, I always seemed to make it worse. The best thing we can do is get out of the way and work on ourselves.
-- Edited by PhilB on Friday 8th of May 2015 02:27:32 PM
Hi worried Mom, welcome to Al-Anon. Glad you joined us, and hope you find comfort and relief through this fellowship. The steps have been a lifeline for me, and a wonderful suggestion I heard regarding the steps is that it is absolutely fine to take them at my own pace, that my being willing was all that was needed. Keep coming back and thanks for posting.
