The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I took my husbands car off of our insurance. I have reasons to believe he has driven drunk a couple times (even though he just got a DUI). I told him a few weeks ago that if he continued to do so, I would remove him from the insurance and he would have to take the bus to work. Well, I FOLLOWED THROUGH, which I am proud of. (Note: I am the primary insurance holder and I will not let myself be a liability in case of further issues.)
But I keep trying to find ways to make it "easier" for him in the mornings. "Well, maybe if I drop you off somewhere in the morning it won't be such a long ride for you..." (it's an hour and a half.)
What I find kind of funny is that my AH is the one saying...No, I created this situation for myself, I understand why you did it, and I won't let you do that. He says he is angry with me, but understands that it was a result of his decisions.
Anyways, I am staying strong despite my complicated thoughts and feelings. And as always, I just have to laugh at myself and my silly thought process. Not too often that the alcoholic is the one keeping us in check, huh?
You did well with a boundary and following through. It is nice that he has a rather accepting attitude about it. I know this Alanon is about you, but I hope your husband really gets AA. It's not rocket science and the slip ups are just so demoralizing and unnecessary.
You did well with a boundary and following through. It is nice that he has a rather accepting attitude about it. I know this Alanon is about you, but I hope your husband really gets AA. It's not rocket science and the slip ups are just so demoralizing and unnecessary.
He does. :) He has some mental health challenges right now- his bipolar is not well controlled and it is making it truly difficult to sober up. He has a med check coming up soon, and I hope that will help him out a bit. I think that is the challenging thing with AA - it does not necessarily address mental health issues so he is needing to seek support outside of that. Which he is! We actually went to a speaker meeting last week with a person who addressed their co-occurring diagnosis of bipolar. It was very refreshing to hear that it is not completely a "defect of character" and lack of spirituality, but some truly effed up brain chemistry.
Fortunately for me, I also have bipolar disorder so I understand the challenges that come along with it. It certainly makes my own recovery very interesting! I have been seeking out a sponsor who also struggles with bipolar, anxiety disorders, etc. I have my eye on one in particular, just trying to feel her out for a bit.
Good work Betty You are a kind and generous person and learning how to detach and allow another the didnity of solving their own issues is a true gift that we can give to another . Progress not perfection is the key
