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Today is a bummer day for me. I can't stop being weepy....hate it. My AH told me his PO will once again be coming to my home next Tuesday. It makes me so mad that I have to endure his criminal punishments to the point that I actually am feeling regretful for calling the police on him when he had his drug dealer coming over and seeing him dying from his drug use, maybe I should have not tried to intervene and let him go about his ways.
I really wished last night and today that I hadn't. Now I pay the price for his mess-ups by having an evil person come to my house, my sanctuary and invade my peace and privacy and am constantly told to bad you don't have any rights in the matter.
Feeling full of anxiety, anger and regret. Ahhh the wonderful world of living with an A.
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Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
You certainly made the right decision when you called the police about his dealer coming over, sorry about the collateral consequences though. I know you work from home, but can you take an hour off while he is being grilled? Get the heck out, and go to Starbucks or something? At least you wouldn't have to witness it. My wife's PO came over 4-5 times, but I was at work when it happened, so it wasn't so invasive for me.
Sending prayers and positive thoughts for you. You did what you thought was right (and I still do), and what can you do now? Consider Kenny's suggestion. If that doesn't fit, what would you suggest to a friend of yours going through this? Do it for you.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. POs have even more legal rights to search your house than a cop with a warrant. It totally sucks. I like the idea of going to Starbucks or treating yourself to a pedicure. No need for you to be home for that crap, right?
I wonder what it's going to be like because my son will be coming to live with me for a while but I know his PO will be coming to my house to make sure it's a safe place for him???
Is it that invasive??
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Sending support your way. My wife worked briefly as a PO, and she hated doing the home visits, too.
You don't have to be there, right? Maybe a walk in the park or a stop at the library would be good and healthy ways to let him deal with the consequences of his actions and not having to deal, too.
This is just for right now, it isn't forever. The hard stuff will pass.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I wonder what it's going to be like because my son will be coming to live with me for a while but I know his PO will be coming to my house to make sure it's a safe place for him???
Is it that invasive??
Hi Cathy!, It's invasive for me as this woman is mean, mean-spirited, and you can't trust her. She says one thing, does another as a matter of fact, she tried to force her agenda of just divorcing and then is mad and resentful that we didn't do that and instead went to marriage counseling and our priest. She is a very heavy woman so she doesn't look around and snoop through stuff because it takes all her energy just to get up our walks. She sits in our dining room and pushes and prods into business that is not for her to know, she can prod my AH all she wants on his recovery and his sobriety, but anything to do with our financial stuff, marital life etc is none of her business and I let her know. She doesn't agree. He is still pretty emotionally immature and will do and say whatever he thinks she wants...it annoys me but that is part of the recovery process, him growing and learning.
It's ridiculous to me she keeps showing up that's all it is for me and I am not being "crazy" it's not my crime I did, but I get to suffer the consequences. Everyone on the board had great suggestions of just not being here and I think I will go with that, but that doesn't sit well with me as this is my home and I have to run away from it because she wants to come and create havoc in my safe place. Oh well, once again I have to work on myself and why I can't accept this or tolerate this and why once again I have to bend over backwards for my AH. Sometimes it just gets old.
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Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
