Emerald unless it becomes overwhelming it's OK to feel low sometimes. This stuff can be just plain exhausting and if your H is in recovery now then things have probably changed a lot in your home and relationship and that can also be very draining...if it was me I think I would just make myself comfortable, try to do something you usually enjoy when you can...for me that would be curling up in bed with a good book at the end of the day...you don't have to be super happy and positive all the time!!!
Do you have a f2f meeting you can go to? Also good medicine for a low mood.
(((emerald)))

My sponsor always reminds me to just do the next right thing when I feel like that. Sometimes these are great lessons when we hit these lows because we start learning what exactly we need at that time. Trust your HP, turn your life and your will over, and just let it be. It's ok to be low especially when your spouse is early in recovery. That first year is hard on everyone. Have you read Toby Rice Drews books called, "Getting them Sober"? Highly recommend.

 

 

Sponsorship was the greatest tool I got along with the fellowship...lots of recovering members to speak to and listen to.   My sponsor taught me that emotions as choices...that I could feel what ever I wanted to feel at anyone period of time without needing a certain event to "trigger" the emotion.  That was a rocket science suggestion because I had come from being triggered by life events before.  I found out he was right and have practiced the lesson daily since.  I don't like feeling confused and angry ...I choose to be happy and content and like Betty mentioned I use the tool of acceptance and powerless over as a condition for it.  Since my recent surgery and now in the recovery section of it and not working like I use to I can feel lost also...I am not in my usual mode and then I know I am doing other important work...aiding my healing and arriving back into the serenity of it.  That helps me to choose feeling confident and relaxed and I feel less lost.    Thanks for sharing.    ((((hugs))))

Emerald Eyes -- that is so hard. I am new here and have no wisdom, just empathy and compassion. I supported my wife through her early recovery (and all the trauma, drama, and difficulty that went with it) and felt that my years of therapy before we even met would stand me in good stead. I went to a few Al-Anon meetings but then drifted away. A couple of weeks ago my wife (now sober almost 2 years) told me, when I got home from a trip, "I am done. I haven't been attracted to you for a long time. I don't want to be monogamous, I don't want to be married, I am in love with someone else (a student of mine) and that is that. I kept trying to talk about possibilities -- is this a passing thing? A predictable turning point in your sobriety? Our relationship? Can we work on any of this?" She said, "You are not hearing me. I'm done. The only reason I didn't leave sooner is because we couldn't afford to live apart," So I asked her to leave, explaining I need time to catch up emotionally. The next day she was furious with me for asking her to leave! After reflection, I felt that all the statements -- the way they were delivered and worded -- were cruel, and especially the comment that she would have left sooner but"couldn't afford it." There was something about this statement particularly that made me feel used and discarded. II have just been sobbing about it -- I can't put on a happy face for the life of me and I think that is a good thing that I am finally showing my real feelings. Like you, I feel so lost. I feel waves of unreality. But here and at face to face meetings I begin to see the bigger picture, the common profile and anatomy of these things and, boy, are we not alone!