The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed at her response to dreadful news and she tells him she was taught that during a crisis do what she was gojng to do anyway. So she was going to have tea and she did.
Isnt it amazing to think that even in the most trying situation or circumstances we still have control over our own minds and behaviour? Its a choice, all of it. The choice between falling apart or standing strong. Death of a loved one, our beloved active drinkers, seems like the ultimate pain but ive often wondered if it really is. its such a miserable taker of a disease that death to me seems like a victory over it. Peace for the tortured souls, the drinkers and their families.
So true. We are in control of our mind and behavior. We need to remember. When life gets out of control we are still in control of our responses. Thank you for sharing this.
Dear LC thank you for sharing today's reading in the ODAT and your insight into the same. I must agree, it is a powerful reading that assured me that no matter what happened. Al-Anon tools would work.
After living each day Trusting HP, being in the moment, focusing on myself (which to me means taking care of my inner being and not reacting), not projecting to the future or wallowing in the pain of the past, I know that when a crisis arrived these tools became automatic and I responded very much like the woman in the reading.
The courage, serenity and wisdom of this program are indeed great allies as attempt to live life on life's terms.
I must confess that when I see alcoholic street people living in such misery and pain, I thank God that he took my son before any of that happened. I believe that there are many things worse than death. That does not mean that I didn't suffer as a result of my son's passing, and still do not miss him each and every moment of each day, it only means that I have the tools today, to live in acceptance and gratitude.
Thanks for your service.
Thank you Hotrod, I'm glad your son got peace. Sometimes I wonder how far my son will go but I try not to let the fears build, my greatest fear for him was death but I can see that death is not the worst that can happen.x
Thank you for sharing LC. I was at an Al Anon convention this weekend and I heard the same story from a speaker about how we can choose to respond. Everything we say and do is a choice and I'm so grateful to program for helping me evaluate just how I respond or choose to react to life circumstances.
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
The message to the lady who was inviting the pastor message bringer in for tea...the one who remembered the lesson from her Grandmother is what inspired me. It is so short and clear. I've also sat and listen to a male Al-Anon member who told much the same story of loosing his alcoholic wife while choosing to be at a meeting while she remained at home drunk. Sad always. (((hugs)))
My alcoholic exB died a few months ago, we were no longer together and it was not a surprise but of course it is something i am trying to comprehend and is the reason I recently joined Al Anon.
Your post brings up one of the thoughts I am struggling with, particularly when u wrote:
'its such a miserable taker of a disease that death to me seems like a victory over it. Peace for the tortured souls, the drinkers and their families.'
People kept saying to me ' That's so sad' ...But to me it really isn't...its a relief for me to know that he is no longer suffering, life was too much for him he is now indeed at PEACE!
If feel strange expressing that thought because it seems so cold....when i have expressed this to people saying 'its so sad' I feel like they have looked at me in disbelief. That kind of empty superficial statement makes me angry to listen to, it makes me feel like these people dont get it....it shows that they truly didn't understand how painful life was for him and were oblivious to what we were going though
Also, I selfishly feel life his death is a sort of release for me as well...like in some way his passing has allowed me to be free of this demon I was embroiled in for so many years.
Dear Puray I can identify. My son passed form this disease 8 years ago and I recently stated in a posting :": I must confess that when I see alcoholic street people living in such misery and pain, I thank God that he took my son before any of that happened. I believe that there are many things worse than death. That does not mean that I didn't suffer as a result of my son's passing, and still do not miss him each and every moment of each day, it only means that I have the tools today, to live in acceptance and gratitude.
There were times i wished the death of my ex, ive never felt that way about my son but i had a terrible fear of him dying. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say or think but when you have lived with it you understand. Alanon is where you will get true understanding and no judgement. people who havent lived it cant understand, they dont know. Glad your here.x
Mostly alcoholic subjects are best said among
Alanoners. The general public does not get the
Disease.
My ah is dry but still an alcoholic in Behaviors,
thoughts and desires. Do others Believe that no
and i am wasting my breath And my feelings
saying anything to them.
Talk to people that understand and have walked
In your shoes. In loving support!
Puray the thought is an honest one and a reality. His death is in fact an unintentional detachment. You would rather dream something else and at the same time accept the reality. The disease released you of something you are powerless over which resulted in unmanageability. Over time I am sure I would feel both loss and relief both honest and rational emotions under the circumstances. Thanks for the share and the question. ((((hugs))))
