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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic?
Post Info TOPIC: Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic?
mobius


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Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic?
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Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic.  This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me.  I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget this? Why do I want to see him as normal? I don't understand this and I do it consistently. The same goes for my daughter who is not in recovery - AlAnon. And why she puts her alcoholic father on a pedestal and blames me for everything. Are we all denying the disease here? Is this a common misunderstanding? Thanks.

Mo



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Hillyard


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I am the same way with my wife. My thoughts were that everyone drinks. Drinking is normal. I too enjoy a cold beer now and again. What I'm beginning to learn the more I read these posts is that alcoholics are great manipulators. Your brother may be that way too - able to make you believe that he is healthy and that you are the problem. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I'm learning to focus on my higher power to keep my thinking healthy.

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purav


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Hi Mobius,

I am very new to al anon so doubt I have much wisdom to impart...I denied to myself that my ex was an A for years, the realisation that the situation was not okay just seemed to creep up on me.

Deep down I knew but my interactions were similar to what you describe...in the sense that I was trying to reason with him. He somehow was able to bamboozle me....I would often find myself confused during a heated conversation not knowing if what I was saying made sense anymore.
When all had (temporarily) calmed down I would resolve to never engage or allow myself to be dragged into non sensical discussions...but next time it was the same thing again!

I guess that is where the idea of detachment comes in...easier said then done but I guess thats why we are (I am) here at Al Anon.

In any case I can sympathise and hope u can find a way to deal with this situation.

Take care
C

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