The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.
AW I urge you to reconsider Alanon Tradition 10 suggests that we have no opinion on outside issues so that we are not drawn into public controversry and that so we can maintain our primary Spiritual aim .
Tradition 5 states that we have one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the 12 Steps ourselves and sharing our ESH
And I got sanctioned in part of my response to you. No biggie. I said something wrong. I should have been more mindful and thoughtful in my response. See...not the end of the world. We are here for you when you want help and to work on yourself.
Its called biting off your nose to spite your face aw.
I moderated your post because we live in a big wide world with lots of different beliefs and viewpoints, weve got the right to have these but weve got a reponsibility to be aware of others and of offending others.
I wish we talked about the concepts. Concept 4 is about Participation is the key to happiness. Our meeting last night was about this idea. Honestly before alanon really didn't know how to get along with others. Realizing I have tip work and play with others is a big deal. The world is not just about me. Hugs and good luck.
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Its been a long way coming. But rest assured I part with a smile to all and a handshake. Not something and vinegar.
A more grown up group that can handle cussing, swearing, and general ranting and hating is more my speed for a variety of reasons. I have a temper that could make the pope sla Add to that I'm pretty much the loner type - **** to the Core (**** hate that), PRACTICING ****c ****s REALLY hate this), and well.. Its just a lonely world out there. Especially being a man marired to an alcoholic. We don't get books to read. We don't get articles. They are all aout the drunk husand. Add to tha the stigma of marrying her when she was 17 (yes, it was legal... very legal... checkd with 3 lawyers legal) and I don't get a whole lot of sympathy for my situation. Its my bed, time to lay in it I guess. 8) anyway, my point is taht with my potty mouth, and the fact taht i harbor seriously ill will towards police (and taht's a nice divisive issue in the 'united' country right now) and well. I can see the doors open and I'm that annoying guest stirring the pot.
Ya'll do take care and than you for all of your help. Yea' there's another huge crisis going on again. I'm sick of being a 42 year old man crying for hours in the closet. Same old same old. Pray for me. ask your dead relatives to pray for me. I'm truly alone now unless that french speaking alanon forum ever shows up. Is a bit like swimming into a murky, dark cave knowing you'll never get out and wha will happer once you're in there. Scary. I really am about 1 good argument away from voluntarily comitting myself to a mental hospital fro a week or hopefully they'll just say i 'm nuts and keep me forever. 8) That will mean losing my job and ability to take care of the family though. Its not a really pretty future out there for me right now. I'm thiknig I'm more scared than feelling sorry for myself. But when she goes off on me for asking if she's been drinking, she cuts down to the bone. "I can't belive I marred you." "I was so much happier when we lived in Y."
And I fell high school stupid in love with this girl. As in I still can be brought to tears by just a kind word from her. And now she's ......
yea.... lets stop here. This is a bit closer to theedge of that awful abyss of just... dark emtpy insanity than I'm willing to venture.
-- Edited by AWSmith on Saturday 2nd of May 2015 05:03:08 PM
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 3rd of May 2015 12:54:18 PM
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 3rd of May 2015 12:55:09 PM
If you're still lurking let me tell you honestly that I relate totally to your personality and condition including Catholic arrogance and belligerence. I was that sick and more when I first got to Al-Anon and wished to stay that way so I also left. After I left I in part caused my alcoholic/addict wife to go back out on another 5 year run and something was different that time because I remember the program (before I left) saying something about the enabler could and would do that without even knowing it...this time I knew it. I was so stuck on myself and my unwillingness to change gave me two things...a program backlash, and why not I was abusive and unempathetic or compassionate for those I splashed my crap on. I was invited/told openly to leave the rooms because ours is a We program not a Me one. The other thing I got was the depression you speak in here and I moved toward another suicide attempt...my third only God had other ideas. I got taught in program about the difference twix failed and successful suicide. The thought of ending my life was replace by the belief that I could change the one I was living and arrive at one I would not give up for any reason at all...that is the one I have now and my older existence is gone.
When I insisted on being the person I was then I assured myself of receiving the outcomes I was getting. What goes around comes around. I hear my old self in your post and I hear my former sponsor telling me..."Aha got yourself good that time".
If you keep an open mind...you will find help...from the closing statement to our Al-Anon face to face meetings.
Its been a long way coming. But rest assured I part with a smile to all and a handshake. Not something and vinegar.
A more grown up group that can handle cussing, swearing, and general ranting and hating is more my speed for a variety of reasons. I have a temper that could make the pope sla Add to that I'm pretty much the loner type - *** to the Core ( hate that), PRACTICING ***c ( REALLY hate this), and well.. Its just a l
-- Edited by AWSmith on Saturday 2nd of May 2015 05:03:08 PM
AW I hesitated engaging in your response to this posting but I needed to state that I do not believe that being able to use /hear foul language makes a group grown up -- in fact I believe being able to express ourselves without foul language is the mark of a true grown up.
I also know that this MIP family is composed of the most mature, well adjusted, non judgmental, supportive courageous people that I have ever walked with . Alanon beleives the only one we have the power to change is ourselves and that is the journey we are all on. The tools work as does breaking the isolation caused by the disease
AW...you are not alone. Please don't catastrophise. I don't care I'd you are Catholic. It's still one of the most common religions in the US so not sure why you think you are hated for that. Maybe you were rash in marrying this girl when she was so young. I don't know. It's irrelevant. The cops thing...pretty much irrelevant too. Please stop catastrophising. I hate that you are in so much pain. Your HP doesn't want you to suffer like this. Solutions will appear. Don't give up.
I want to chime in about foul language. Cuss words convey anger and cause fear; foul language is used in so many way to hurt those of us who come to a site such as this to find a way to escape the fear, hurt, anger and despair our lives are mired in. People coming here need to feel safe; cussing promotes an air of instability and insecurity. My ex was a quiet gentle mannered man unless he'd been drinking, then his speech was peppered with angry hateful words thrown at me, his whipping post. I'm human and I cuss but usually when I've hurt myself or joking. I have been angry enough to spit out my anger through cuss words but I much prefer being able to avoid that kind of anger because of how it makes me feel - out of control and angry.
I hope you reconsider leaving AW, because I think this site has benefits you've yet to reap.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I find the second posting of AWSmith in this thread to be really offensive. Your views, opinions of certain nationals, religions and occupations is irrelevant to the only purpose of the Alanon program which is to aid families and friends of alcoholics.
I would like to see the second posting of AWSmith removed or editted by a moderator. We don't discuss religions in our program. The slurs made by this individual concerning nationality, religion, politics and occupation create an unsafe atmosphere for family and friends of alcoholics who come to Alanon for it's sole purpose - 12 step recovery.
TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Sunday 3rd of May 2015 11:14:26 AM
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
The Traditions and Principles of the Program are powerful guidelines for me. Trying to maintain Unity in such Diversity takes a little effort .
